Al-Istiqaamah Issue Issue No.4 - Jumâdal-Awwal 1417H / November 1996
ARE THE DELIGHTS OF PARADISE ONLY FOR MEN
[Q]: Whenever I read the noble Qur'aan, I find in it many verses in which Allaah - the Most High - gives glad tidings of al-hoorul-'ayn (fair females with wide dark eyes) who excel in beauty, to His believing male servants. Do the women in Paradise have partners other than their husbands? Furthermore, most of the verses mentioning the bounties in Paradise are directed towards the believing men. So is the reward of the believing women of Paradise less than that of the believing men?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn Jibreen - hafidhahullaah - responded:
"There is no doubt that the rewards in the Hereafter are inclusive of both men and women; due to what Allaah - the Most High - said: "Never will I allow to be lost the actions of any of you; whether male or female." [Soorah Aal-'lmraan 3:195]. And His saying: "Whosoever does righteous actions whether male or female - whilst they are believers, to them We shall give a good life." [Soorah an-Nahl 16:97]. And His saying: "And whosoever does righteous actions whether male or female - and is a believer, will enter Paradise." [Soorah an-Nisaa 4:124]. Similar is Allaah - the Most High's - saying: "Indeed the believing men and the believing women ... [up to the end of the verse where Allaah says]: Allaah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward." [Soorah al-Ahzaab 31:35]. Allaah mentions them entering Paradise together: "They and their wives will be in pleasant shades." [Soorah YaaSeen 36:56]. Also: "Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness." [Soorah az-Zukhruf 43:70]. Allaah - the Most High - also mentions that he will recreate the women; as occurs in His saying: "Indeed, We created them of a special creation, and made them virgins." [Soorah al-Waaqi'ah 56:36-36]. That is to say that Allaah will recreate the elderly women as virgins. Similarly. He will recreate the elderly men as youths. It is also mentioned in the hadeeth that the women of this worldly life have an excellence over al-hoorul-'ayn due to the acts of worship and obedience that they performed in this world. Therefore, the believing women will enter Paradise just as the believing men. As regards to a woman who had a number of husbands, and she enters Paradise with them, then she will choose from them; and will choose the one with the best character and behaviour."1
CONCERNING MEN WEARING GOLD RINGS
[Q]: What is the ruling concerning a man wearing a gold ring, or what is known as a wedding-ring?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn Baaz - hafidhahullaah - answered:
"It is not permissible for a man to wear gold rings. neither before or after marriage. This is due to the fact that Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam prohibited gold, as occurs in the authentic narrations. So once when the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam saw a man wearing a gold ring, he took it from him, threw it down and said: "Does a person pick up a burning piece of coal and hold it in his hand." This was related by Muslim in his Saheeh (6/149). So in this is a proof that it is absolutely haraam (prohibited) for men to wear gold rings, even if it is a wedding ring."2
THE RULING CONCERNING WISHING FOR DEATH DUE TO ENCOUNTERING MANY HARDSHIPS
[Q]: I have faced so many hardships in my life that it has made me hate this life. Every time I turned to Allaah and pleaded to Him to take my life at the earliest possible moment. This continues to be my wish up until now, as I do not see any solutions to my problems except death; it is the only thing that can save me from this torment. Is this behaviour haraam (forbidden) for me?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn al-'Uthaymeen - hafidhahullaah - said:
"When a person wishes for death due to the hardships and afflictions that have befallen him, then he is doing something that Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam prohibited, when he said: "None of you should wish for death due to some harm that has come to him, rather, if he has such a wish then let him say: O Allaah! Give me life if You know that life is better for me. And give me death if You know that death is better for me."3 Therefore, it is not allowed for anyone to wish for death on account of some harm, hardship or difficulty that has come to him. In fact, he should have sabr (patience) and expect a reward from Allaah - the Most High - due to his being patient, and he should wait for relief to come to him; just as the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "And know that victory comes with patience, relief with distress, and ease with hardship."4 So the one who is afflicted with any affliction should know that those afflictions are an expiation for some of the sins he has committed. Indeed, no Believer is afflicted with any kind of grief, pain or suffering except that Allaah expiates - due to that - some of his sins; even if it be the harm caused by a mere pricking of a thorn. So when a person has patience and hopes in a reward from Allaah, he reaches the level of being amongst the saabiroon (those who truly have patience), and this is a very lofty level. Allaah - the Most High said about its people: "And give glad tidings to the apatient ones; those who, when afflicted by a calamity, say: Indeed we belong to Allaah, and to Him shall we truly return." [Soorah al-Baqarah 2:155-156].
The woman in the question feels that there is no solution for her problems except death. I believe that this is a mistaken view.
Death does not solve any problems. In fact, sometimes it only increases the difficulties. How many people die whilst being afflicted with calamities, difficulties and suffering, but they had been wronging themselves by sinning, and did not give up their sins or repent to Allaah. So death, in this case, is just a quicker coming of punishment. Perhaps if such a person had remained alive, then Allaah would have guided him him to the doors of repentance, seeking forgiveness, patience, facing up to the problems and expecting relief. All of this would have been good for him. Therefore, it is upon you - the questioner - to be patient and expect relief from Allaah - the Mighty and Majestic - just as Allaah - the Most High - said in His Book: "So indeed with hardship here is relief. Indeed with hardship there is relief." [Soorah Inshiraah 94:5-6]. And the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said in the authentic narration: "Victory comes with patience; relief with affliction, and ease with hardship."5"6
FORCING A YOUNG LADY TO MARRY A MAN THAT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO MARRY
[Q]: Is it allowed for a father to force his daughter to marry a particular man that she does not want to marry?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn Baaz - hafidhahullaah - responded by saying:
"Neither the father, or anyone other than the father, may force a woman who is under his guardianship to marry a man that she does not wish to marry. In fact her permission must be sought first. Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "A previously married women (without a husband) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin is not married until her permission is sought." They said: O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission sought? So he said: "By her being silent."7 Another narration states: "Her silence is her permission."8 Yet a third narration states: "A virgin's father seeks her permission, and her permission is her remaining silent."9 So the father must seek her permission if she is nine years of age or above. Likewise, her other guardians may not marry her off except by her permission. This is obligatory upon them all. If a lady is married without her permission, then the marriage will not be correct. This is because one of the conditions of a marriage contract is that both partners accept the marriage freely. So if she is married without her permission, by threat or coercion, then the marriage is null and void... If the (apparent) husband knows that she does not want him, then he should not approach the woman, even if the father approves of it. He must fear Allaah and not approach any wife that does not want him, even if the father claims that he did not coerce her. The man must avoid what Allaah has forbidden him. This is because Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam ordered that her permission be sought.
We also advise the woman to fear Allaah and to accept the man if her father finds that he suitable to marry her, as long as the prospective groom is good in his Religion and in his character. This is also the case if the one who is the guardian is not the girl's father. We give this advice because there is a lot of good and a lot of benefit in marriage. Likewise, there are a lot of hazards in living as a maiden. So I advise all young ladies to accept those men who come to them for marriage, if they conform to the compatibility factors of marriage (i.e. good in Religion and character), they should not use studying, teaching, or anything else, as an excuse to get married."10
A RELIGIOUS YOUNG MAN PROPOSED TO ME BUT MY MOTHER REFUSED
[Q]: I am seeking a solution to my problem. I am twenty-four years old. A young man proposed to me. He has finished college and is from a religious family. After my father agreed to him, he asked me to come and see him. I saw him and was pleased with him. [we saw each other] because our pure and noble Religion states that I should see him and that he should see me. However, when my mother came to realise that he was from a Religious family, she became harsh against him and my father. She swore that she would not allow such a marriage to take place. My father desperately tried to persuade her, but to no avail. Do I have the right to seek the [Islaamic] Law to intervene in this matter?
[A]: Shaykh Ibn Baaz - hafidhahullaah - said:
"If the matter is as you have stated in your question, then your mother has no right to object, to this matter Indeed it is actually haraam (forbidden) for her to object in this case. You are not obliged to obey your mother in this particular issue, since the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Indeed obedience is only in ma'roof (when it is good and right)."11 And it is not from ma'roof to reject a suitable marriage proposal. In fact, it has been narrated from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam that he said: "lf there comes to you a person whose Religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him (i.e. give the girl in marriage to him). If you do not do this, there will be Fitnah (trial and discord) and great fasad (corruption) upon the earth."12 If you have need to take your case to an [Islaamic] court of law, then you would not be wrong in doing so."13
1.Fataawaa al-Mar'ah (pp.13-14).
2. Majmoo' Fataawaa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi'ah (6/397).
3. Related by al-Bukhaaree (10/127) and Muslim (no.2680). from Anas radiallaahu 'anhu.
4. Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (11308), from Ibn 'Abbaas radiallaahu 'anhu. It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Takhreejus-Sunnah (nos.315-318).
5. Saheeh: Related by ad-Daylamee (4/111-112), from Anas radiallaahu 'anhu. It war authenticated by al-Albaanee in as-Saheehah (no.2382).
6. Fataawaa al-Mar'ah (pp.10-11).
7. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.5136), from Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu 'anhu.
8. Related by al-Bukhaaree (no.5137), from 'Aaishah radiallaahu 'anhaa.
9. Related by al-Bukhaaree (51105).
10. Fataawa al-Mar'ah (pp. 169-170).
11. Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/355), from 'Alee radiallaahu 'anhu.
12. Hasan: Related by at-Tirmidhee (no. 1085), from Abu Haatim al-Huzanee and Abu Hurayrah radiallaahu 'anhumaa. It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Irwaa' ul-Ghaleel (no. 1868).
13. Fataawaa al-Mar'ah (pp.170-171).