[The following article has been extracted from Al-Ibaanah e-Book :
Your Flesh and Blood : The Rights of Children – Shaikh Muhammad Baazmool ]
Know that children are a source of trials (fitnah).
Allaah says:
وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ
“And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial and that surely, with Allaah is a mighty reward.” [Surah Al-Anfaal 8: 28]
It is stated in Adwaa-ul-Bayaan:
“Allaah ordered the people in this noble ayah to be aware that their properties and children are a trial for them by which they will be tested. Will your wealth and your children be a cause for you to fall into that which Allaah is displeased with?! Elsewhere (in the Qur’aan), He adds to this saying that wives are also a trial just like wealth and children, thus ordering the individual to beware of them putting him into that which Allaah is not pleased with.
Then He orders the individual – if he should see something he dislikes from these enemies who are the closest and most special of people to him, i.e. his children and wives – to forgive them, pardon them and not hold them accountable. So he should beware of them firstly and then pardon them if some thing should occur from them. This is found in His statement in Surah At-Taghaabun:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَّكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ ۚ وَإِن تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ – 64:14
إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ ۚ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ – 64:15
‘O you who believe, verily among your wives and your children are enemies for you, so beware of them. But if you pardon (them) and overlook and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allaah is All-Forgiving, Most-Merciful. Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allaah – with Him is a great reward.’ [Surah At-Taghaabun 64: 14-15]
He then asserts somewhere else (in the Qur’aan) that it is forbidden for the believers to let their wealth and children divert them from His Remembrance, stating that whoever let’s this happen is a loser who has been duped out of his shares. The ayah being referred to is Allaah’s saying:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تُلْهِكُمْ أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَلَا أَوْلَادُكُمْ عَن ذِكْرِ اللَّهِ ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْخَاسِرُونَ – 63:9
‘O you who believe, let not your properties or your children divert you from the Remembrance of Allaah. And whosoever does that, they are the losers.’ [Surah AlMunaafiqoon 63: 9]
The word ‘fitnah’, as mentioned in these verses, means a trial and a test. This is one of the many meanings this word possesses in the Qur’aan.” [28]
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Neither the wife nor the children of an individual will pick up the burden of his shortcomings and deficiencies on his behalf. Allaah says:
لَن تَنفَعَكُمْ أَرْحَامُكُمْ وَلَا أَوْلَادُكُمْ ۚ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ يَفْصِلُ بَيْنَكُمْ ۚ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ بَصِيرٌ – 60:3
“Neither your relatives nor your children will be of avail to you on the Day of Resurrection. He will judge between you. And Allaah is All-Seer of what you do.” [Surah Al-Mumtahanah 60: 3]
So children are a source of fitnah – they are a trial and a test. Allaah will test us by them. So we should fear Allaah with regard to them and give them the proper rights that they deserve. Or should we forfeit these rights, when Allaah will ask us about them?!
Al-Hasan (rahimahullah) reported: ‘Ubaidullaah bin Ziyad went to visit Ma’qil bin Yassaar while he was suffering from the illness that he eventually died from. So Ma’qil said: “I will indeed narrate a hadeeth to you that I heard from Allaah’s Messenger (صلّى الله عليه وسلّم ) . I heard the Prophet (صلّى الله عليه وسلّم ) say:
‘There is no servant whom Allaah has granted responsibility over a group of people, then fails to look after them in an honest manner, except that he will not experience the fragrance of Paradise.’”
And in another narration of this hadeeth:
“There is no servant whom Allaah has granted responsibility over a group of people, then dies on the day that he dies whilst in a state of deceiving his people, except that Allaah makes Paradise forbidden for him.” [29]
Children are a source for causing one to divert away from the Remembrance of Allaah. At times, they may even lead you to disobey Him. In these cases, they are an enemy that you should beware of!
The Messenger of Allaah (صلّى الله عليه وسلّم ) has instructed us how to expiate this fitnah. Hudhaifah ( رضي الله عنه ) reported: “We were sitting one day with ‘Umar ( رضي الله عنه ) when he asked us: ‘Which one of you memorized the words of Allaah’s Messenger (صلّى الله عليه وسلّم ) concerning trials?’ I replied: ‘I did, just as he (صلّى الله عليه وسلّم ) said it.’ He said: ‘You are quick to respond!!’ I said:‘A man’s trials with regard to his family, his wealth, his children and his neighbor are expiated by prayer, fasting, charity, and commanding (good) and forbidding (evil).’” [30]
Footnotes:
[28] Adwaa-ul-Bayaan (2/51-52) of Imaam Muhammad Al-Ameen Ash-Shanqeetee
[29] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree in his Saheeh: Book of Rulings (no. 7150) and Muslim in his Saheeh: Book of Faith (no. 142)
[30] Reported by Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim
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