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From Umm ‘Abdillah Al-Waadi’iyyah’s “My Advice to the Women”
From Umm ‘Abdillah Al-Waadi’iyyah’s “Naseehati Lin-Nisaa’ ” (My Advice to the Women). I typed this excerpt from the english translation published by Tarbiyyah Bookstore. To save time in typing, I omitted the chains of narration for the ahadeeth (but still included all references), as some of them were rather long. Other than that, I didn’t deviate from the translated text, translated by the brother Abul-Layth
Chapter: Whoever Does Not Show Mercy Will Not Be Shown Mercy (pages 117-122):
Aboo Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu ‘alaihi wa salam, kissed Al-Hasan while Al-Aqra ibn Haabis at-Tameemee was sitting near him. A-Aqra said, “Indeed I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” The Messenger of Allah looked at him and said, “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” [Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 426/10]
From Shaddaad ibn Aws who said that the Messenger of Alah, salallahu ‘alaihi wa salam, said, “Verily Allah has perscribed al-ihsaan (excellence) for everything. So when you kill, you should kill in the best manner. And when you slaughter, you should slaughter in the best manner. Let each of you sharpen his knife to provide ease for his animal.” [Saheeh Muslim]
“Al-ihsaan” or “excellence” in the arabic language is procifency in performing an action, while perfecting it with sincerity. In Islaamic law, Al-Ihsaan is what the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa salam, has explained in his statement: “That you worship Allah as though you see Him, but since you are un able to see Him, then He most certainly sees you.”
Ibn Rajab said concerning the prophetic narration of Shaddaad, “This prophetic narration indicates the obligation of excellence in all of the actions.” [Jami’Al-Uloom 151]
From the types of mercy which can be shown to a child is kissing him: ‘Aa’ishah said that a Bedouin man came to the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa salam, and said, “You (people) kiss the children and we do not kiss them.” So the Prophet said, “Is there anything that I can do once Allah has removed mercy from your heart?” [Saheeh Al-Bukhari 426/10]
‘Umayr ibn Ishaaq said, “I was with Al-Hasan ibn ‘Alee when we met with Aboo Hurayrah who said, “Show me where I might kiss you in the place where I saw the messenger of Allah kiss.” He replied, “Al-Qameesah” (shirt or upper garment), He said, “So he kissed the front of his stomach.” [Ahmed with a hasan chain]
From the types of mercy that can be shown to a child is carrying him while in prayer. Abu Qataadah said that the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, came out to us with Umaamah bint Abeel-‘Aas on his shoulders. Then he prayed. When he bowed, he placed her on the ground and when he rose from bowing, he lifted her back off the ground.” [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari]
On the authority of Abu Shaddaad, from his father, who said that the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, came out to us for one of the ‘ishaa prayers carrying Hasan and Husayn. The Messenger of Allah stepped forward and set them both down. Then he prayed and prostrated between their backs a single prostration that was lengthy. My (Abu Shaddaad’s) father said, ‘Then I raised my head and the child was on the back of the Messenger of Allah while he was prostrating. I then returned to my prostration.’ So once the Messenger of Allah had completed his prayer, the people said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, certainly you have prostrated between two backs in your prayer. Certainly the length of this prostration led us to believe that something had happened or that revelation had decended upon you.’ He, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, said, ‘None of that occured, rather this child moved around me and I didn’t wish to disturb him until he had finished.’ [hadeeth collected in An-Nasaa’ee, authenticated by Shaykh Muqbil]
From the types of mercy that can be shown to smaller children is playing with them: Umm Khaalid bint Khaalid ibn Sa’eed said, “I came to the Messenger of Allah, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, along with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. The messenger of Allah said, ‘Sanah, sanah!’ (this means ‘good’ in the ethiopian langauge) Umm Khaalid further said, ‘Then I started playing with the seal of Prophethood. My father admonished me, but the Messenger of Allah said (to my father) ‘Leave her.’ The Messenger of Allah then addressed me saying, ‘Ablee wa akhliqee, thumma ablee wa akhliqee, thumma ablee wa akhliqee.’ (Trans. note: This phrase ‘ablee wa akhliqee’ is used by the arabs to supplicate for an extended life. Its meaning could be conveyed in the following expression: ‘May you live so long that your garments become worn and ragged.’) So she (Umm Khaalid) remained this way until (this supplication for her became actualized and subsequently) she would be mentioned by the people,” meaning that she would remain until her garments became old and ragged. [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 425/10]
Mahmood ibn Ar-Rabee’ said, “I remember when I was a boy of Five years old, the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, took water from a bucket with his mouth (majjatan majjahaa) and threw it in my face.”
Al-Haafidh said, ” ‘Majj’ is the expelling of water from the mouth. It is said that nothing is refered to as ‘majj’ except if it is from a distance. The action of the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, with Mahmood was either from his play with him or it was a means of blessing him with it just as he used to do with the children of his companions.”
Anas ibn Maalik said, “Certainly the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, used to spend time with us to the extent that he even said to my young brother, ‘Oh father of ‘Umayr, what did the little birdie do?’ ” [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 526/10]
In addition, from the types of mercy that can be shown to a child is placing the child in one’s lap. ‘Usaamah ibn Zayd said that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, used to take me and place me on his thigh and he would place al-Hasan ibn ‘Alee on his other thigh, then he would come close to us and say, “Oh Allah! Please be merciful to them, for indeed, I am merciful to them.” [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari 434/10]
Therefore, this is how one might be affectionate with the smaller children concerning everything they might need or how they might be amused. This is an appropiate means of showing them mercy and affection, as long as this does not lead towards bringing about improper behavior.
Certainly the Prophet, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, has praised the women of Quraysh because they possessed praiseworthy characteristics and from them is their affection for children.
Narrated upon Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, said, “The best wome to ever ride the camel were the women of Quraysh.” [Saheeh Al-Bukhari 511/9]
He also said, “The most righteous from the women of Quraysh are those who are most affectionate (“ahnaah”) to the child during its youth and who are most protective concerning their husband’s property.” Al-Haafidh said that “ahnaah” is from affection, which is compassion and tenderness.
The mercy that is shown to the young children and other than them is from the reasons that cause a person to achieve the mercy of Allah.
It has also reached us from the Prophet, slallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, that he said, “He is not from us who does not show mercy to the young and does not honor the old.”
Do Not Envy people for what Allaah has given them of His Bounty
Taken From: My Advice To The Women , By the Shaykhah: Umm ‘Abdillaah al-Waadi’iyyah
With the introduction and review of the Esteemed Shaykh: Aboo ‘Abdur-Rahmaan Muqbil ibn Haadee al-Waadi’ee
Musaddad told us that Yahya told us upon the authority of Shu’bah from Qataadah from Anas (radiAllahu anhu) that the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (288)
Hence, in this prophetic narration you find that the one who does not desire good for his Muslim brothers, similar to the good that he desires for himself, is deficient in his belief.
Al-Haafidh said, The intent behind the negation here is (a negation of) the completeness of faith, and negating the name of something conveys a negation of the completeness of it and this is understood from their speech as in the statement, “So and so is not human.” The word Khayr (good) is a comprehensive word that includes all of the acts of obedience and permissible actions related to both the worldly life and the Hereafter while excluding the prohibited things. This is because the word Khayr (good) does not include those actions. (289) [End of cited speech]
It is also understood from this prophetic narration that a Muslim should hate evil for his brother, just as he hates evil for himself.
Upon the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas who narrated that the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“So whoever desires to remove himself from the Fire and enter the Paradise, such that death overcomes him while he is a believer in Allaah and the Last Day, then let him treat the people in a manner in which he wishes to be treated.” (290)
So desiring good for the Muslims is from the reasons that cause a person to be removed from the Fire, as this prophetic narration indicates.
Desiring good for the Muslims is something that does not occur except from a person with a sound heart that is free of contamination like envy, contempt, and pride. For this reason, desiring good for the Muslims has become rare in this time, due to the lack of purity in the hearts, which is present in many of the people, except those whom Allaah has shown His Mercy.
The one who does not desire good for the Muslims is described with despicable attributes.
From them is:
1- Envy (Hasad):
Envy (Hasad) is to desire the removal of good from others.
Envy is from the attributes of the Jews and it is from their characteristics.
Allaah the Exalted says:
“Or do they envy people for what Allaah has given them of His Bounty? We have indeed already given the family of Ibraaheem (Abraham) the Book and the wisdom, and conferred upon them a great kingdom.”[Soorah an-Nisaa’ 4:54]
Allaah the Exalted says:
“Many of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) wish that if they could turn you back to disbelief after you have believed, out of envy from themselves, (even) after the truth has become clear to them.”
[Soorah al-Baqarah 2:109]
Therefore, the Jews and Christians do not desire that good comes to any one of the Muslims. Thus, they desire from us that we abandon our religion while they know what we are upon leads to everlasting happiness and we have been prohibited from imitating them.
Envy (Hasad) is from the characteristics of the hypocrites:
The Exalted says:
“If some good should touch you, it distresses them, but if some evil should befall you, they rejoice at it. And if you remail patient and fear Allaah, their plot will not harm you at all. Indeed, Allaah encompasses all that they do.” [Soorah Aali ‘Imraan 3:120]
Envy (Hasad) can sever even the strongest of bonds.
The sons of Ya’qoob (Jacob alayhis salaam) envied their brother Yoosuf (Joseph) because their father used to love him moreso than he did them, just as Allaah described in their story that He has presented in Soorah Yoosuf.
The Exalted says:
“When they said, Truly, Yoosuf (Joseph) and his brother (Benjamin) are more beloved to our father than we, while we are a group consisting of many. Certainly, our father is in clear error. Kill Yoosuf (Joseph) or cast him out to (another) land, so that the favour of your father may then be attainable for you, and after that you will be a righteous people.” [Soorah Yoosuf 12:8-9]
Thus, they planned to kill him becasue of their envy for him because of his being more beloved to their father than they were.
Similarly, Satan envied our father Aadam (alayhis salaam) because of what Allaah had given him from [His] bounties and he became arrogant as Allaah the Exalted said:
“And when your Lord said to the angels, ‘I will create a human being out of clay from an altered black smooth mud. So, when I have fashioned him and breathed into him the soul which I created for him, then fall down to him in prostration.’ So, the angels prostrated themselves, all of them together. Except Iblees (Satan), he refused to be with those who prostrated. (Allaah) said, “O Iblees (Satan)! Why is it that you are not with those who prostrate?’ He said, ‘Never would I prostrate myself to a human whom You created out of clay from an altered black smooth mud.’ (Allaah) said, ‘Then, get out of here, for indeed, you are an outcast. And certainly upon you is the Curse until the Day of Recompense.'” [Soorah al-Hijr 15:28-35]
Similarly, the story of the two sons of Aadam, one of them envied his brother because Allaah accepted his brother’s sacrifice while his own sacrifice was not accepted. This envy led him to kill his brother
The Exalted says:
“And recite to them the story of the two sons of Aadam in truth; when they both offered a sacrifice (to Allaah), it was accepted from the one of them but was not accepted from the other. The latter said to the former, ‘I will surely kill you.’ The former said, ‘Certainly, Allaah accepts only from the righteous. If you raise your hand against me to kill me, I shall not raise my hand against you to kill you, for I fear Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. Indeed, I intend to let you acquire my sin as well as your sin and then you will be one of the people of the Fire. And that is the recompense of the wrongdoers.’ So his soul permitted for him the murder of his brother; he murdered him and became one of the losers. Then Allaah sent a crow who scratched at the ground to show him how to hide the disgrace of his brother. He said, ‘Woe to me! Have I failed to be like this crow and hide the disgrace of my brother?’ Then he became one of the regretful. [Soorah al-Maa’idah 5:27-31]
So then, the consequences of envy (Hasad) are harmful and can cause separation between two friends and between a man and his brother.
2- The envious resent of the decree of Allaah:
Therefore, he sees himself as though he has been cheated and for this reason, he cannot feel contentment or tranquility, but rather he feels depressed and sad.
It is upon mankind to look to those whom are below them, for indeed this is closer to recognizing the blessings (of Allaah) and being thankful for them; while looking towards those who are above them, leads to remorse and sadness and the belittling of one’s self.
And Zuhayr ibn Harb told me that Zubayr told us. (291)
In addition, Aboo Kurayb told us that Aboo Mu’aawiyyah told us.
Aboo Bakr ibn Abee Shaybah (with his wording) told us that Aboo Mu’aawiyyah and Wakee’ told us upon the authority of Al-‘A’mash from Aboo Saalih from Aboo Hurayrah who said that the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:
“Look to those who are below you, and do not look to those whom are above you, because it is more appropriate that you do not belittle the blessings of Allaah.” (292)
No matter what mankind acquires in the worldly life, none of it matters in the least when compared to the safeguarding of his religion.
3- From the examples of the envious person’s resentments of the decree of Allaah is if the envious person had the ability to remove a blessing that was given to a person whom Allaah had favored with His blessings, he would most definitely do so. Either by making him poor after he had been rich, or by making him lowly after he had been honorable or ignorant when he had been knowledgeable or childless after once having many children or ugly after having been handsome or sickly after having been healthy and other than that.
Moreover, Allaah the Mighty and Majestic censures the one who withholds resentment towards His decree and His wisdom. He, the Glorified says:
“Do they distribute the Mercy of your Lord? It is We who appropriate their livlihood in this world, and We have raised some of them above others in degrees, so that they may make use of one another for service. But the Mercy of your Lord is better that whatever they accumulate.” [Soorah az-Zukhruf 43:32]
The Poet said:
Should it not be said to the one who was envious of me, “Do you not know whose rights you have violated?”
He has violated the rights of Allaah with his action because he was not contented with what he was given. So becasue of this, Allaah increased me (in good) and refused your supplications because of your insolence.”
It is very important that the envious people be neglected as mentioned by the poet:
“Remain patient upon the envy of the jealous, for indeed patience will deter them. Indeed the fire will devour itself if it does not find anything else to burn.”
Certainly, Allaah has commanded His Prophet to seek refuge from the envious one when He says:
“Say, I seek refuge in the Lord of the daybreak. From the evil of that, which He has created. And from the evil of the darkness when it settles. And from the evil of those who blow on the knots. And from the evil of the envier when he envies.” [Soorah al-Falaq 113:1-5]
In addition, Jibreel (Gabriel) recited a Ruqyaa (293) on the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) for everything that might harm him and this included the envious person.
Muhammad ibn Abee ‘Umar al-Makkee told us that ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ad-Daraawardee told us upon the authority of Yazeed (who is Ibn ‘Abdullaah ibn Usaamah ibn al-Haad) from Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem from Aboo Salamah ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan from ‘Aa’ishah – the wife of the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that she said, “If the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) used to complain of something, Jibreel (Gabriel) used to recite to him the following Ruqyaa:
‘In the Nmae of Allaah, may He heal you, and from every ailment, may He cure you, and from the evil of the envier when he envies; and from the influence of the eye.'” (294)
The Levels of Envy
1- From them is the one who exerts effort to remove the blessings of the person who is envied by way of transgression upon him with statements and actions. Then from these people are those who exert themselves in an effort to acquire what has been removed from the person against who was transgressed.
2- From them is the one who restricts his efforts to removing the blessings of the person who he envies without acquiring anything from him. This is the more evil and despicable of the two. This blameworthy envy is prohibited.
3- Another group from amongst the people, if they happen to envy another person, they do not act in accordance ith their envy. These people do not transgress against the person who is envied by way of their statements nor their actions.
4- Another group of people, if they find within themselves envy, they strive hard to remove it with kindness to the one whom they have envied by initiating goodness towards him and by supplicating for him, and spreading news of his good qualities. They do all of this in an effort to remove what they found in themselves of envy until this envy eventually changes because of their desire to be a better Muslim. This is from the highest degrees of belief and the possessor of this is a complete believer who loves for his brother what he loves for himself. (295)
288- Saheeh al-Bukhaaree [13/1]
289- in Al-Fath [57/1]
290- In Saheeh Muslim
291- Translator’s note: As it has been mentioned previously, this symbol indicates that the text of this prophetic narration contains two different chains of narrators which are linked by the ‘Arabic letter Haa. The letter Haa within this context indicates the point where the first and the second chains meet.
292- Saheeh Muslim [2275/4]
293- Translator’s note: the Ruqyaa is the recitation of specific verses from the Qur’aan as well as the mention of particular authentic supplications that have been established from the practice of the Prophet (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) as a means of protection against magic and sickness.
294- Saheeh Muslim [2275/4]
295- For further reference see Jaami’ al-Uloom (page 306-327) and this has been selectively transmitted.
Source: My Advice to the Women – Umm Abdillah al-Waadi’iyyah – pgs 253-259
Shyness is of two types:
1. What consists of character and disposition and cannot be acquired. Shyness is the behavior Allah granted the servant. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said ” Shyness brings about nothing but good.” It prohibits a person from committing despicable actions and displaying degrading behavior.
2.What is attainable through knowing Allah and knowing His greatness as well as His closeness to His servants.His overseeing them, and His knowledge of what deceives the eyes while being hidden in the chests.
Shyness from Allah may be caused by witnessing and reflecting over His blessings and the shortcomings associated with being thankful for them.
The praiseworthy shyness is the behavior that encourages the performing of commendable actions and abandoning the wretched.
Concerning the statement : ” If you do not feel shy then do as you wish .” One meaning is that it does not command to do whatever you wish, but it conveys a meaning of blame and prohibition. One way of interpreting it is that it conveys a threat/warning. The second way to interpret it is that it is a way of conveying information. The thing that prohibits a person from doing bad actions is shyness.
An-Nawawee said , The Scholars said that the reality of shyness is the character that encourages the abandonment of despicable actions and prevents against negligence concerning the rights of the people who possess rights over others.
Aboo Al Qaasim al Junayd said Shyness is recognizing Allahs favors, meaning His blessings and the recognizing of ones own negligence in light of them both.
When shyness is lost, every type of evil is committed.
There are five signs of wretchedness :
1. The harshness in the hearts
2. The unflinching eye
3. The lack of shyness
4. The seeking of worldy pleasures.
5. Longevity in life
An example of shyness is Asmaa bint Aboo Bakr in the hadeeth where she carried the date stones and was offered to ride behind the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam but was too shy.
Source: My Advice to the Women – Umm Abdillah al-Waadi’iyyah – pgs 253-259
This is the response to what the Sheikhah Umm Abdillah Al-Waad’eeyah, may Allah preserve her, had when a flyer was shown and translated to her, for a sisters beauty and spa gathering in the west. The request was made to the sister Umm Abdillah Al-Britaaniyah, may Allah preserve her, to ask the Sheikhah about this issue.
The response from the Sheikhah:
All praises are due to Allah. And may the prayer and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah alone without any partners, and I bear witness that Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is his slave and messenger. To proceed:
Firstly, it is upon every Muslim woman to know that Allah has made it obligatory upon her to remain at home. As He has said:
وَقَرْنَ فِي بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجْنَ تَبَرُّجَ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ ٣٣:٣٣
“And stay in your homes (Oh you women) and do not display your adornments or beauty like the days of Ignorance”
So this is the foundation, however if it becomes necessary for her to leave her home then there is no objection. Provided that she leaves for a reason permitted by the legislation of Al-Islaam. This is because of the speech of the Prophet:
قد أنِنَ الله لكُنَّ أنْ تُخْرُجْنَ لِحَوائِجِكُنَّ
“Indeed it has been permitted for you (women) to leave your homes”
Collected in the Saheeh of Imaam Muhammad bin Ismaa’eel Al-Bukhaari #5237
Furthermore, if she leaves her home then it is likewise obligatory upon her to wear Al-Hijaab in a well-mannered fashion with modesty. As for a woman leaving her home to such events mentioned in the question, then it includes wasting time. Also, it is from resembling the disbelieving women, which is forbidden. The Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
من تشبَّهَ بِقومٍ فهو منهم
“Whoever resembles a people then he is from them”
Narrated from Abdullah bin ‘Umar Collected in the Musnad of Imaam Ahmad Vol. 2 page 50 and Graded Hasan by Imaam Al-Albaani
It also includes polishing the nails with nail polish. This act as a barrier against water when performing ablution. And whatever does this is prohibited. Except in the case of the menstruating woman. It also includes the women taking a bath or relaxing in water for hours. This legislatively is called “الحمامات” (Spas) and is prohibited (for women) because of the Hadeeth narrated by ‘Aaisha. She reported that the Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
أيُّما امرَأةٍ وَضَعَتْ ثِيابَها في غَيرِ بيتِ زَوْجِها, هَتَكَتْ ما بينَها و بينَ اللهِ
“Which ever woman takes off her clothing in other than her husband’s house then she has indeed ripped the protection between her and Allah.”
This Hadeeth is Saheeh collected in the Musnad of Imaam Ahmad
So to summarize, it is not permissible to attend such events because of the contradictions to the legislation of Al-Islaam it presents. Such as wasting time and spending a lot of money without a justified reason. Also, I add to this subject that perhaps the women maybe caused to expose her Awrah this is because the beautician may seek to treat her whole body or most of it.
The Prophet (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
لا يَنظُرُ الرَّجل أِلى عَوْرَةِ الرَّجل, و لا المَرْأَةُ أِلى عَوْرَةِ المَرْأةِ
“No man should look at another man’s ‘awrah, nor should a woman look at another woman’s ‘awrah”
Collected in the Saheeh of Imaam Muslim bin Al-Hajjaaj # 766. Narrated on the authority of Abi Sa’eed Al-Khudri
And perhaps it maybe a male beautician in which the prohibition and sin is far greater.
So stay far away from this oh Muslimaat. May Allah grant you all success with that. Accustom yourselves to staying in your homes and beware of resembling the disbelieving women because verily this leads to having amity (friendship, love, etc.) for the disbelieving women and love of resembling them inwardly. That is in relation to their belief.
Likewise, I advise you all to leave those lands that oppress its people and to have adherence upon this Haneef religion. And Allah is the one who grants success.
Al praises are due to the Lord of all existence.
Sheikhah Umm Abdillah Al-Waadi’eeyah
Translated by: Umm Abdillah Al-Britaaniyah
Darul Hadeeth Dammaaj