The Ruling on Masturbation – Imaam Muhammad Naasir-ud-Deen Al-Albaanee

Al-Asaalah Magazine (Issue #3)
Al-Ibaanah.com

[56] Question: What is the ruling on masturbation?

Answer: We have no doubts regarding the forbiddance of such a practice. And this is due to two reasons, the first of which is the saying of Allaah, the Most High, concerning the description of the believers: 

“Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their prayer with full submissiveness. And those who turn away from false and vain talk. And those who pay the Zakaah. And those who guard their chastity – Except with their wives or (slaves) that their right hands possess, for (in that) they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.” [Surah Al-Mu’minoon: 1-8] 

Imaam Ash-Shaafi’ee used this ayah as proof for the forbiddance of masturbating. This is since, in this ayah, Allaah has placed two ways for the true believers to fulfill their desires – either by marrying free women or by enjoying the slave women and female war captives. Then He says: ”But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors” meaning: Whoever desires a way by which to transmit his desires, apart from these two ways of marriage and taking female war captives, then he is a transgressor and a wrongdoer. 

As for the second reason, then it has been medically established that there are unhealthy consequences for the one who does such an act, and that there are harms to the health caused by this practice, especially for those who constantly engage in it day and night. It is reported on the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that he said: ”Do not harm and do not be harmed.” Thus it is not permissible for a Muslim to engage in anything that will cause harm to himself or to others.

There is one more thing that must be mentioned and it is that those who engage themselves in this practice fall under the statement of Allaah: 

“Will you exchange that which is lower for that which is better?” [Surah Al-Baqarah: 61] 

Also there has been reported on the Prophet (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) that which further confirms this forbiddance and it is his saying: 

“O you group of young men! Whoever amongst you is able to marry then let him marry, for indeed it is the best means for lowering one’s gaze and the best way to protect one’s private parts. And whosoever is not able, then let him fast, for indeed it will be a shield for him.” 

The Wisdom of Marriage & The Fallacy of Dating : Dr. Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din Al-Hilali

Taken from his book ‘The rulings of al-Khula’ in Islaam’ pg. 36-38.

The great scholar and daa’ee, Dr. Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din Al-Hilali[1] said, “….And in the Sunan of Ibn Majah the prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) stated, “From the things that makes a man happy is a righteous wife whom whenever he looks at her she pleases him, whenever he commands her she obeys him, and whenever he is absent she is faithful with herself and his wealth.” Hadeeth hasan (hadeeth no. 1857).

So look – may Allaah have mercy on you – at this hadeeth which illustrates therein a very high wisdom from the lips of the one who has been given concise, eloquent speech that contains much profound meaning. For indeed herein he summed up the conditions for a happy martial life:

1. The first one is that the woman is attractive in the eyes of the husband
2. She willingly fulfills his requests and does what he wants; and this is the sign of true love
3. He trusts her and she trusts him. Hence if he is absent for a long or short period, he will be rest assured that she will safeguard her honor and integrity, and ensure that his wealth is not wasted

Without these conditions neither of the spouses can ever be happy. And the Europeans have claimed to have attained the pinnacle of marital bliss because they allow the fiancé to interact with his fiancée before the marriage in a manner that is very disturbing. It is quite possible for this relationship to continue like this for years whereby they are ‘still getting to know each other,’ to get to learn the other person’s behavioral traits and personality so that they can be more compatible with each other in order to make the relationship more lasting. They know however that this is a big farce. Because neither of the spouses trust the other – as far as being faithful to each other, or being honest with their money. Because the husband cannot tell his wife to do anything because obedience is not an obligation for them. Hence they are like two business or trade partners. And this illustrates the fallacy of the stipulation which is that they must ‘be in love’ first.

As for the argument that supports unrestricted interaction before the marriage contract, (this is also a fallacy) because they do not really get to know the true character of the other companion because each of them ‘puts on an act’ for the other, and feign signs of adulation for fear that the engagement will be called off. And almost none of them reveals his/her true character until they get married. And there are many incidents like this that proves this to be true. For indeed this happened in Germany in the city of Bonn wherein a man who was engaged to his fiancée for 20 years, and they lived together as a man would live with his wife. However when they married the marriage did not last but one year; all of it being disagreements, bickering, and argumentation, eventually ending in divorce.”

Taken from his book ‘The rulings of al-Khula’ in Islaam’ pg. 36-38.

Foot Notes:

[1] He is a descendant of the Prophet’s grandson Husain (radiallaahu anhu). He was born in Morocco in 1311 (1893) and he died 1408 (1997). He is well known for his translation of the meanings of the interpretation of the Noble Qur’an and Sahih Al-Bukhari.

Shaykh Hammaad al-Ansaaree said about him, “In reality I have met anyone who has more knowledge in so many various subjects other than Dr. al-Hilali. Forty five years have passed and I have never seen anyone like him. He was fluent in languages such as Hebrew, German, English, Spanish, in addition to being a scholar in Arabic. He is my shaykh for I benefit from him greatly. He was salafi in his aqeedah, and if you read his book about at-Tawheed you would know that no one knows at-Tawheed in the Qur’an like him.”

Questions Concerning Everyday Issues : Shaykh bin Bâz

Answered by the Noble Scholar and Muftee
Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez bin ‘Abdullaah bin Baaz [1]
Al-Istiqaamah Issue Issue No.2 – Safar 1417H / July 1996

INCREASING EEMAAN (FAITH)

[Q]: Firstly: I begin my question by seeking your advice that I may benefit from you with regards to how I may increase my eemaan (faith)?
Secondly: I wish to learn about the religion, however Islaamic books are very rare in my country (Algeria), except some books which are with some brothers – may Allaah reward them with goodness.
Thirdly: I work as a builder and the people that I work with do not really have sound faith and their speech is nothing more than gossip and obscenities.
Fourthly: I keep company with a brother whose beliefs are corrupt and who constantly speaks ill of the righteous and believing brothers and I feel very distraught about this. So I hope that you will direct me to a cure for this disease.

[A]: Firstly: We advise you to recite the Qur’aan frequently and that you increase in your hearing of it and in your recitation of it. Reflect and consider its meaning to the best of your ability and what you do not understand of it, then ask the people of knowledge of your country about it, or write to those outside of your country from the Scholars of Sunnah (Prophetic guidance).

We also advise you to increase in the dhikr (remembrance) of Allaah with such remembrances and supplications that are authentically related, such as saying laa ilahaa ilallaah (that none has the right to be worshipped except Allaah), or saying subhaanallaah wal-hamdulillaah wa laa ilaha ilallaahu wallaahu akbar (declaring Allaah free from all imperfections, praising Him and declaring that none has the right to be worshipped except Him and that He is greater), and their like. For this purpose, we urge you to refer to books such as al Kalimut-Tayyib of Ibn Taymiyyah, al Waabilus-Sayyib of Ibn al-Qayyim, Riyaadhus-Saaliheen and al-Adhkaar both by Imaam an-Nawawee, and their like.

This is because the remembrance of Allaah increases eemaan (faith) and causes hearts to attain tranquility, as Allaah – the Most High – said: “Indeed in the remembrance of Allaah do hearts find tranquility.” [Soorah ar-Ra’dd 13:28].

Also preserve your five daily Prayers, your Fasting and the rest of your obligations – along with hoping in Allaah’s mercy and forgiveness and relying upon Him in all your affairs. Allaah – the Most High – said: “The Believers ate only those who, when Allaah is mentioned, feel a fear in the hearts, and when His Verses are recited to them, it increases their eemaan (faith), and they put their trust and rely upon Allaah alone. They are those who perform the Prayer and spend out of that which We have given them, they are Believers in truth. For them ate grades of dignity and nobility with their Lord, and also forgiveness and generous provisions.” [Soorah al-Anfaal 8:2-4].

Secondly: Islaamic books are easily found in every Muslim country, especially in public libraries and bookshops. So the one who seeks after them will find them. We advise you to refer to the people of knowledge of the Sharee’ah (Prescribed Law of Allaah) so that they may direct you to suitable books for you to read, borrow or buy. If there are any problems regarding this, then it is not fitting for us to stop answering your questions from the Pure Revelation – and We ask Allaah that He makes us firm in that, and only His help is sought.

Thirdly, Fourthly: It is upon you to keep good company and to sit in righteous gatherings in order to benefit from them and their manners and their knowledge and that they may assist you in cultivating obedience to Allaah. So be careful and beware of bad companionship, and evil gathering. Beware, so that they may not influence you, adversely affecting your morals and manners, such that you fall into ill-repute, or that they weaken your resolve and determination in fulfilling your religious obligations and the obligations to your family. Indeed, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam advised the Ummah to sit in good gatherings, and he warned them from the evil and foul gatherings, and he gave a noble example about this, when he said: “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of a seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. As for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at the very least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows, then either he will burn your clothes, or you will get an offensive smell from him.” This was related by al-Bukhaaree (4/323), from Abu Moosaa al-Ash’aree radiallaahu ‘anhu. 1

CONCERNING A WOMAN’S MAHR (DOWRY)

[Q]: I and many others have observed that many people are very excessive when it comes to the matter of the mahr (wedding dowry that is paid to the bride), and that they seek great amounts of mahr when it comes to the marriage of their daughters, and they stipulate as a condition the giving of other gifts to them, along with the mahr. This wealth that people demand in such cases, is it halaal (lawful) or haraam (unlawful)?

[A]: What is prescribed in the Sharee’ah is that the mahr should be a small amount and that people should not compete with each other in this regard, acting in accordance with the many ahaadeeth which are related about this. They should also help facilitate marriages and be keen in preserving the modesty and decency of the young Muslim men and women. And it is not permissible for the awliyaa (guardians of the brides-to-be) to demand and stipulate gifts for themselves, since they have no right at all in this matter. Rather the right belongs to the woman, and in some particular cases to the father. He may stipulate a condition as long as it does not harm the daughter, nor lead to the delaying of the marriage. However, if the father forgoes such a right then this is better and more preferable. Allaah – the One free from all defects – says: “And marry those amongst you who are single and also marry the pious of your male and female slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.” [Soorah an-Noor 24:32].

In the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir radiallaahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “The best dowry is that which is easy.” This was narrated by Abu Daawood and al-Haakim who authenticated it. And once a woman offered herself to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam for marriage. However, one of his Companions desired to marry her, so the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said [regarding the mahr]: “Bring something, even if it be an iron ring.” So when he could not find even this, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam married them for the dowry that the man would teach whatever of the Qur’aan he knew to her. 2

And the dowry of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam’s wives was five-hundred dirhams, which is equivalent to one-hundred and thirty riyaals today. And his daughters were married for the mahr of four-hundred dinaars, which is equivalent to one-hundred riyaals today. Allaah – the Most High – said: “Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a most beautiful example to follow.” [Soorah al-Ahzaab 33:21].

So whenever the difficulties relating to marriage are lightened, then preserving the modesty and decency of young men and women becomes easier, shameful and evil deeds decrease, and the Ummah – as a result – will increase in number. However if this matter is made difficult, and people continue competing with each other with regards to the mahr (dowry), then the number of marriages will decrease, fornication will become more widespread and more young men and women will remain unmarried – except those whom Allaah saves.

So my sincere advice to all the Muslims, wherever they may be, is to facilitate the marriage process and to cooperate in this and make it easy. They should turn away from demanding excessive mahr and avoid unnecessary hardships and difficulties in the waleemah (wedding-feast). Rather, they should content themselves with a waleemah that is according to the Sharee’ah, in which the burdens and difficulties for the husband and wife are minimal. May Allaah improve and rectify all the affairs of the Muslims and may He give them the guidance and ability to cling to the Sunnah (Prophetic guidance) in all matters. 3

IMPURITIES UPON ONE’S CLOTHING WHILST PRAYING

[Q]: If a person finds some impurity upon his clothes after he has finished praying in it, does the Prayer have to be prayed again?

[A]: Whosoever prays, and is unaware that there are impurities upon his body or his clothes during the Prayer, but only realises after he has completed it, then his Prayer will be deemed as correct, according to the most correct position of the Scholars. Similarly, if he was aware of such impurities before the Prayer, but then forgot about this at the time of praying and did not remember except after the Prayer, then his Prayer likewise will be correct. Allaah – the Mighty and Majestic said: “Our Lord! Do not take us to task if we forget or fall into error.” [Soorah al-Baqarah 2:286]. It has been authentically related about Allaah’s Messenger sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, that one day he sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam led the people in Prayer, wearing his shoes. Then the angel Jibreel came to him during the Prayer and informed him that there was some dirt on his shoes. So the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam removed them and continued with his Prayer and he did not repeat the Prayer.4 This is part of the ease which Allaah – the One free from all defects – has given to His servants out of His Mercy for them. However, if a person forgets that he had passed wind, then prays in that state, he must – by ijmaa’ (consensus) of the Scholars – repeat his prayer again, when he remembers. This is due to the saying of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: “The Prayer will not be accepted without purification nor will charity be accepted from wealth that is unlawful.” This has been related by Muslim in his Saheeh (1/140) and the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam’s saying: “The Prayer of any one of you who has released wind will not be accepted, until he makes wudhoo (ablution).” Related by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim. 5

SLAUGHTERING FOR OTHER THAN ALLAAH

[Q]: The slaughtering of sheep and other such animals at the graves of the pious people, for their sake and in order to please and draw closer to them, is a custom amongst my family. I have tried to prevent them from doing so, but it has only made them more resolute in doing so. I have said to them that this is shirk (associating partners in the worship) of Allaah. But they respond by saying: We only worship Allaah the way He deserves to be worshipped. However, we visit the graves of the awliyaa (the pious friends of Allaah) and supplicate to Allaah, through the right of the pious people, so that harm and difficulties may be averted from us. I have said to them that this is not from the religion, but they just tell me to leave them alone upon what they are doing. So what do you suggest should be the cure for such people, and what do you suggest I do to counter act this bid’ah (innovation)?

[A]: It is known from the evidences related in the Qur’aan and the Sunnah that sacrificing for other than Allaah, in order to draw close to other than Allaah – whether sacrificing for the jinns, awliyaa, idols or other than that from the creation – is an act of shirk and is an act of jaahiliyyah (pre-Islaamic ignorance) that was practiced by the mushriks (those who worshipped the pious men, jinns, angels, stones, statues, etc, along with worshipping Allaah). Allaah- the Mighty and Majestic – said: “Say: Indeed my Prayer, my sacrifce, my living and my dying are all for Allaah Lord of the worlds. No partner do I setup with Him in this, and this is what I have been commanded, and I am the first of the Muslims.” [Soorah al-An’aam 6:162]. So Allaah – the Most Perfect – clearly explains in this verse that sacrificing to other than Allaah is like praying to other than Him. And Allaah – the Most High – said: “Indeed We have granted to the Prophet sallallaabu ‘alayhi wa sallam the Kawthar (a river in Paradise whose banks are lined with tents made from hollow pearls). Therefore turn in Prayer to your Lord and sacrifice to Him alone.” [Soorah al-Kawthar 108:1-2]. So Allaah – the One free from all defects – commanded His Prophet in these noble verses that he should pray only to His Lord and that he should sacrifice to only Him, which was opposite of what the mushriks did, in that they used to prostrate to other than Allaah and to sacrifice to other than Him. Allaah – the Most High – said: “And your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him.” [Soorah al-Israa 17:23]. And He – the Most Perfect – said: “And they have not been commanded except to worship Allaah alone making the religion purely and sincerely for Him.” [Soorah al-Bayyinah 98:5]. And there are many other verses with the same meaning. So, since sacrificing is one of the acts of ‘ibaadah (worship), then it is obligatory to make this action purely and sincerely for Allaah alone, without directing it to other than Him. Also ‘Alee ibn Abee Taalib radiallaahu ‘anhu said that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “May Allaah curse the one who sacrifices to other than Allaah.” This has been related by Muslim in his Saheeh (no.765).

As for supplicating to Allaah and asking Him by the right of the awliyaa or by the right of His Messenger, or by the status of His Messenger – then this does not constitute shirk, but rather it is a bid’ah (innovation) which leads to shirk, in the opinion of the majority of Scholars. This is because du’aa (supplication) is an act of worship, and how it is to be done can only be known from the Revelation. And there is nothing authentically established from our Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam to show the permissibility or validity of this type of tawassul (seeking the means of nearness to Allaah by invoking an intermediary) in which Allaah is asked through the right of His Prophet or the right of the awliyaa or any of His creation. So it is not permissible for any Muslim to innovate new forms of tawassul which has not been prescribed by Allaah, as He – the Most High – said: “Or do they have partners with Allaah who prescribe for them a religion which Allaah has not prescribed.” [Soorah ash-Shooraa 42:21]. And the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “Whosoever introduces into this affair of ours that which is not from it, will be rejected”, and in another authentic narration: “Whosoever does an action that I have not commanded, it will be rejected.” 7 And the meaning of this is that such innovated actions will be rejected and not accepted from its doer. Thus it is obligatory for the Muslims to restrict themselves to only what Allaah has prescribed and to beware of what people have innovated into the religion. As regards the prescribed forms of tawassul then they are: tawassul (seeking the means of nearness to Allaah) through His Names and His Attributes and by righteous actions, and by one’s eemaan (faith) in Allaah and His Messenger, and other righteous and prescribed actions similar to this. 9


1. Fataawaa Lajnatud-Daa’imah lil-Buhoothul-‘Ilmiyah wal-Iftaa (3/185-187).
2. Related by Abu Daawood in his Sunan.
3. Al-Fataawa (1/168-169).
4. Saheeh: Related by Abu Daawood (no.650) and al-Bayhaqee (2/431), from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree radiallaahu ‘anhu. It was authenticated by an-Nawawee in al-Majmoo’ (2/189).
5. Fataawaa Muhimmah Tata’allaqu bis-Salaah (no.14).
6. Related by al-Bukhaaree (2/166) and Muslim (5/133), from ‘Aaishah radiallaahu ‘anhaa.
7. Related by Muslim (no.1817), from ‘Aaishah radiallaahu ‘anhaa.
8. Al-Fataawaa (1/17-18).

Dealing with a Troublesome Husband : By Shaykh Ibn Baaz

[al-Istiqaamah Magazine]

[Q.3]: Even though my husband – may Allaah forgive him – is a person of good character and fears Allaah, yet he does not treat me with kindness. He is always moody, frowning and troubled at heart – and he often says that I am the cause of this. However, Allaah knows – and all praise is for Allaah – that I do fulfill his rights and try to bring to him tranquility and peace of mind and I try to stay clear of all that which displeases him, whilst patiently bearing his excesses against me. Every time I ask him about something, or speak about a particular matter, he becomes angry and says that my speech is stupidity – even though I know that he is perfectly happy in the company of his friends and associates. However, when it concerns me, then he does not treat me in the same manner, nor with the same feeling. This causes me great hurt and anger and I have often considered leaving the house. I have – and all praise is for Allaah – been educated to a good level and fulfill that which Allaah has obligated me with. O noble Shaykh! If I leave the house with my children, try to educate them and live my own life, will I be sinful in doing so? Or should I continue to live in my present circumstance, abstain from speaking and continue patiently bearing these difficulties? Please advise me as to what I should do – and may Allaah reward you with goodness.

[A.3]: There is no doubt that it is obligatory for the husband and wife to live together in a kind and sociable manner. There should be good manners and treatment between them, along with affection and pleasant behaviour – as Allaah the Mighty and Majestic – says,

‘‘And live with them in honour and in kindness.’’ [Sooratun-Nisaa‘ 4:19 ]

And His – the Most Perfect – saying,

‘‘And the wives have rights over the husbands – similar to those of the husbands over them – in that which is reasonable. But men have a degree over them.’’ [Sooratul-Baqarah 2:228]

The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘‘Righteousness is good character.’’ [1] And he (’alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) then said, ‘‘Do not consider any good action as insignificant- even if it is meeting your brother with a cheerful face.’’ [2] And he (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) also said, ‘‘The most perfect of Believers in eemaan (faith) is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those that are best to their women-folk, and I am the best amongst you to my family.’’ [3] There are besides these many other ahaadeeth which are a general proof for the encouragement of good character, cheerful meeting and good companionship between Muslims. If this is the general case between Muslims, then good treatment between husband and wife and relatives is even more important. You have done well in patiently persevering and bearing the ill treatment and bad character from your husband. However, I advise you to have even greater patience and not to leave the house, and if Allaah – the Most High – wills, there will be a great deal of good in this and a praiseworthy end for you. Allaah – the Most Perfect – said,

‘‘Patiently persevere! Indeed Allaah is with those who patiently persevere.’’ [Sooratul-Anfaal 6:46]

And His – the Mighty and Majestic – saying,

‘‘Indeed whosoever fears Allaah, obeys Him, turns away from disobedience and patiently perseveres, then Allaah does not cause the rewards of the doers of good to be lost.’’ [Soorah Yoosuf 12:90]

And His – the Mighty and Majestic – saying,

‘‘Only those who patiently persevere shall receive their reward in full without reckoning.’’ [Sooratuz-Zumar 39:10]

And His – the Most Perfect – saying,

‘‘So patiently persevere! Indeed, the end will be good for those who are pious.’’[Soorah Hood 11:49]

However, this does not prevent you from speaking to your husband with such words, and behaving with him in such a manner, that will soften his heart- and lead to him being pleased with you and fulfilling your rights of companionship. And as long as he is fulfilling the main and important obligations towards you, then try not to ask him for any worldly need, until his heart is opened and his chest is expanded in accepting your request and fulfilling your needs; in this way – if Allaah wills your ending will be a praiseworthy one. May Allaah grant you increase in all that is good, and that the condition of your husband improves, and that he is guided to good character, kindness in companionship and to fulfilling the rights that are due upon him. Indeed Allaah is the best of those who are asked, and only He guides to the path that is straight. [4]

Footnotes:
[1] Related by Muslim (4/1980) from an-Nawwaas Ibn Sam’aan (radiyallaahu ’anhu).

[2] Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (5/63) and it was authenticated by al-Albaanee in as-Saheehah (no. 1352).

[3] Hasan: Related by at-Tirmidhee (1/217-218) who said, ‘‘The hadeeth is Hasan Saheeh.’’

[4] al-Fataawaa (1/193-194)

The Hadeeth of the Eleven Women : Sahih Muslim

Muslim narrated the following hadith:

Isnad: Suleiman bin ‘Abdir Rahman and ‘Ali bin Hujr » ‘Ibsai bin Bunus » Hisham bin ‘Urwa » ‘Abd Allaah bin ‘Urwah » ‘Urwah

Narrated ‘Aisha (radi Allaahu ‘anha):

Eleven women sat (at a place) and promised and contracted that they would not conceal anything of the news of their husbands.

The first one said, “My husband is like the meat of a lean weak camel which is kept on the top of a mountain which is neither easy to climb, nor is the meat fat, so that one might put up with the trouble of fetching it.”

The second one said, “I shall not relate my husband’s news, for I fear that I may not be able to finish his story, for if I describe him, I will mention all his defects and bad traits.”

The third one said, “My husband is a tall man; if I describe him (and he hears of that) he will divorce me, and if I keep quiet, he will neither divorce me nor treat me as a wife.”

The fourth one said, “My husband is a moderate person like the night of Tihama which is neither hot nor cold. I am neither afraid of him, nor am I discontented with him.”

The fifth one said, “My husband, when entering (the house) is a leopard, and when going out, is a lion. He does not ask about whatever is in the house.”

The sixth one said, “If my husband eats. he eats too much (leaving the dishes empty), and if he drinks he leaves nothing, and if he sleeps he sleeps alone (away from me) covered in garments and does not stretch his hands here and there so as to know how I fare (get along).”

The seventh one said, “My husband is a wrong-doer or weak and foolish. All the defects are present in him. He may injure your head or your body or may do both.”

The eighth one said, “My husband is soft to touch like a rabbit and smells like a Zar’nab (a kind of good smelling grass).”

The ninth one said, “My husband is a tall generous man wearing a long strap for carrying his sword. His ashes are Aboondant and his house is near to the people who would easily consult him.”

The tenth one said, “My husband is Maalik, and what is Maalik? Maalik is greater than whatever I say about him. (He is beyond and above all praises which can come to my mind). Most of his camels are kept at home (ready to be slaughtered for the guests) and only a few are taken to the pastures. When the camels hear the sound of the lute (or the tambourine) they realize that they are going to be slaughtered for the guests.”

The eleventh one said, “My husband is Aboo Zar’ and what is Aboo Zar’ (i.e., what should I say about him)? He has given me many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat (i.e., I have become fat). And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of myself. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in poverty, and brought me to a respected family having horses and camels and threshing and purifying grain . Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill. The mother of Aboo Zar’ and what may one say in praise of the mother of Aboo Zar’? Her saddle bags were always full of provision and her house was spacious. As for the son of Aboo Zar’, what may one say of the son of Aboo Zar’? His bed is as narrow as an unsheathed sword and an arm of a kid (of four months) satisfies his hunger. As for the daughter of Aboo Zar’, she is obedient to her father and to her mother. She has a fat well-built body and that arouses the jealousy of her husband’s other wife. As for the (maid) slave girl of Aboo Zar’, what may one say of the (maid) slave girl of Aboo Zar’? She does not uncover our secrets but keeps them, and does not waste our provisions and does not leave the rubbish scattered everywhere in our house.” The eleventh lady added, “One day it so happened that Aboo Zar’ went out at the time when the milk was being milked from the animals, and he saw a woman who had two sons like two leopards playing with her two breasts. (On seeing her) he divorced me and married her. Thereafter I married a noble man who used to ride a fast tireless horse and keep a spear in his hand. He gave me many things, and also a pair of every kind of livestock and said, ‘Eat (of this), O Um Zar’, and give provision to your relatives.” She added, “Yet, all those things which my second husband gave me could not fill the smallest utensil of Aboo Zar’s.” ‘Aisha then said: Allaah’s Apostle said to me, “I am to you as Aboo Zar’ was to his wife Um Zar’.”

May Allaah grant the believing women the thorough reflection upon this Hadeeth…Ameen!

Marriage, Casts and Compatibility : Ibn Baaz

By Shaykh ’Abdul-’Azeez Ibn ’Abdullaah Ibn Baaz
[al-Istiqaamah] [1]

COMPATIBILITY IS ONLY BASED UPON RELIGION AND PIETY:

From the evil and reprehensible matters is that some who claim to be from the tribe of Haashim (i.e. claim to be a Sayyid; someone related to the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) family) say that there is no kafaa‘ah (marriage compatibility) between them and someone from outside of their own clan. So they do not get married outside of their clan, nor allow anyone from outside of their clan to marry them. This is a great error, a monstrous ignorance, oppression against the woman, and it is a legislation which neither Allaah nor His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) legislated or prescribed. Rather, Allaah – the Most High – said:

O mankind! We have created you from a male and female, and have made you into nations and tribes; that you may know one another, Indeed the most noblest of you with Allaah is the one who has the most taqwaa (piety, fear, and obedience of Allaah).” [Sooratul-Hujuraat 49:13]

Indeed the Believers are but brothers.” [Sooratul-Hujuraat 49:10]

The Believers – men and women – are allies and protectors, one to another.” [Sooratut-Tawbah 9:71]

So their Lord accepted from them their supplication, and responded: Never will I allow to be lost the actions of any of you, be they male or female. You are one to another.” [Soorah Aali-’Imraan 3:195]

Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “Indeed there is no excellence for an arab over a non-arab, nor for a non-arab over on arab, nor for a white person over a black one, nor for a black person over a white one, except through taqwaa (piety and obedience to Allaah). The people are from Aadam, and Aadam was from earth.” [2]

The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) also said: “Indeed my awliyaa‘ (friends and allies) are not the tribe of so and so. Rather my friends and allies are the muttaqoon (those who possess taqwaa) – wherever they may be.” [3]

The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “If there comes to you a person whose Religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him (i.e. give the girl in marriage to him). If you do not do this, there will be fitnah (trial and discord) and great fasaad (corruption) upon the earth.” This was related by at-Tirmidhee and others, with a hasan isnaad (good chain of narration). [4]

The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) married Zaynab bint Jahsh of the Quraysh (i.e. the Prophet’s clan) to Zayd Ibn Haarithah, his freed slave. He married Faatimah bint Qays from the Quraysh clan, to Usaamah, the son of Zayd. Bilaal ibn Rabaah, the Ethiopian married the sister of ’Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn ’Awf of the Quraysh. So the purpose here is to explain the falsehood of those who claim that it is forbidden, or detested, for someone from the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) clan to marry outside of that clan or tribe. Rather, what it is obligatory in this matter is to consider only Religion as the compatibility factor. So the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) distanced Aboo Taalib and Aboo Lahab (his uncles) – because they were not Muslims and drew near Salmaan the Persian, Suhayb the Roman, and Bilaal the Ethiopian. This is because they possessed eemaan (faith) and piety, and they followed the Prescribed Laws and traversed the Straight Path. Thus, whosoever adopts this false and ignorant practice of barring Haashimee women from marrying from outside of their clan or tribe, will only achieve blameworthy results; such as corruption of the people, or adversely affecting the birth-rates, even though Allaah – the Most High – said:

And marry those amongst you who are single, and the righteous from your slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is all-Sufficient for His creation, the all-Knowing about their state.” [Sooratun-Noor 24:32]

So He commanded to marry those that are single, and to marry all other categories of Muslims – irrespective of whether they be rich or poor. Thus, since the Islaamic Sharee’ah urges and encourages the institution of marriage. So the Muslims should hasten to fulfill this command of Allaah and of His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) when he said: “O youths! Whosoever amongst you has the ability to marry, then let him do so; for it lowers the gaze and restrains the private parts. But whosoever does not have the ability then let him take to fasting; for indeed it is a shield for him.” Its authenticity has been agreed upon. [5] Thus, it is incumbent upon the guardians to fear Allaah concerning their guardianship, since it is an amaanah (trust and responsibility) around their necks, and Allaah will question them concerning this trust. So it is upon them to hasten in getting their daughters, sons, and sisters married, to the extent that this task has taken full effect in life, and the corruption and harms of not doing so have been minimized. And it is known that when women are prevented from getting married, or if their marriage is delayed and deferred, then this is a cause for calamities to occur, a cause for shameful moral crimes to take place, and a cause for a decline in standards of behaviour. So – O worshippers of Allaah – it is upon you to fear Allaah regarding your own selves, and with regards to the daughters, sisters, and other women whom Allaah has been placed under your charge and authority, and that the Muslims should come in order to realise the good and the happiness for the society, and to follow the path that will increase the good and lessen the crimes. And you should know that you will all be questioned and held to account about your actions, as Allaah – the Most High – said:

By your Lord! We shall call them all to account for all that they used to do.” [Sooratul-Hijr 15:92]

And Allaah – the Mighty and Majestic – said:

And to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth, that He may punish those who do evil with that which they have done; and reward those who do good with Paradise which is best. ” [Sooratun-Najm 53:31]

So hasten in getting your sons and daughters married, following in the footsteps of your Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), and the footsteps of the noble Sahaabah (Companions) (radiyallaahu ’anhum), and all those who follow their path and guidance. I also advise you all not to seek excessive sums for the mahr (dowry), but rather be moderate in this, and that you strive to select pious and righteous people for marriage.

We ask Allaah to grant us the understanding of the Religion; grant us firmness upon it; and that He protects us and all the Muslims from the evil promptings of our own souls, and our evil resultant actions; and that He keeps away from us the deviating trials and discords, whether open or hidden. And we ask Allaah also to correct all those who have a position of authority over the affairs of the Muslims, and that He rectifies them. Indeed he is the One having the power to do so. And may Allaah extol and send blessings of peace upon Muhammad, and upon his Family, Companions and all those who follow them.

Footnotes:

[1] Majmoo’ul-Fataawaa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi‘ah (3/100- 103)

[2] Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (5/411). It was authenticated by Ibn Taymiyyah in Kitaabul-Iqtidaa‘ (p. 69)

[3] Related by al-Bukhaaree (10/351) and Muslim (no.215), from ’Amr Ibnul-’Aas (radiyallaahu ’anhu)

[4] Hasan: Related by at-Tirmidhee (no. 1085), from Aboo Haatim al-Muzanee and Aboo Hurayrah

(radiyallaahu ’anhumaa). It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Irwaa‘ul-Ghaleel (no. 1868).

[5] Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/106) and Muslim (no. 1400), from Ibn Mas‘ood (radiyallaahu ’anhu)

On Forced Marriages : Ibn Baaz & Uthaymeen

1. Question: Is it permissible for a father to compel his daughter into a marriage with someone she does not desire?

Answer: It is not permissible for the father or someone besides him to compel the one who is under his guardianship to marry someone she does not desire to marry. Rather, it is necessary to seek her consent and permission due to the saying of the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam): The virgin is not to be married until her consent has been sought. They said: O Messenger of Allaah! What is her consent? He replied: Her silence. And in another wording: And regarding the virgin, her father seeks her consent and her consent is her silence.

Therefore it is obligatory upon the father when she reaches the age of nine or greater that he asks for her consent. It is likewise for her guardians, they do not marry her without her consent. This is obligatory upon all of them. Whoever marries his daughter without permission/consent then the marriage is not correct because one of the conditions of the marriage is the consent and pleasure of both parties. So if he marries her without her being pleased with it and compels her with strong threats or even beating, the marriage is not valid…

It is required from the prospective husband, when he knows that she does not desire him for marriage, that he does not pursue the matter even if her father facilitates this for him (give him permission). It is obligatory for him to fear Allaah and not to come to the woman who does not want him for marriage… It is obligatory for him to beware of what Allaah has made unlawful upon him and this is because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) ordered the girls consent to be sought (first).


Shaikh Bin Baaz in Fataawal-Mar’ah Vol. 2. p.50


2. Question: I have a sister and my father married her to someone without seeking her opinion and without her being pleased with it. She is twenty-one years of age and he made a false testimony for the marriage contract (saying) that the girl agrees to the marriage… So what is the ruling regarding this marriage contract…?

Answer: …However the correct saying in this matter is that it is not lawful for the father or any one else to compel the girl into marriage with someone she does not desire even if he is suitable, because the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: Do not marry the virgin until her permission has been sought. And this is general – no one is exempted from it, not (even) her guardians. It is reported in Saheeh Muslim: The virgin, her father is to seek her consent...


Shaikh Ibn Uthaimeen in Fataawal-Mar’ah Vol. 1. p.47


The Nikah Has Many Benefits And Is A Protection From Fornication – Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan

النكاح فيه مصالح كثيرة و هو عصمة من الزنا – مقطع لفيضلة الشيخ العلامة صالح الفوزان (15/3/1434)

Translated by Abu ‘Abdullah Naasir Hussain [Hafidhahullah]
Video Courtesy of Bilal Nahim

The Nikah is from the ways of Allah with regard to his creation, between the children of Adam, male and female.

With it there are great benefits, from them: chastity of the two spouses, one to the other; to fulfill what is required from the husband towards his wife; the husband taking care of his wife; and protecting her. From it is also the fulfilling of the desires of both sexes and from it is having children. There are many benefits from Nikah

The most important thing is that it keeps you chaste from adultery, from fornication and the loss of lineage, and from the corruption of moral uprightness. There is the protection of one’s health.

As for adultery and fornication then their end place is in epidemics and in lethal illnesses, as is well-known.

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا ٣٢

And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fahishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allah forgives him).

[Surah Al-‘Isrā’:32]

With it there is the loss of lineage, the spread of illnesses, the loss of modesty and chastity. With it there are great harms; fornication, we seek refuge with Allah, what an evil way. The harms of fornication are not limited.

With Nikah, there is a protection from fornication and from its harms, and all praises are due to Allah. Nikah produces offspring. As for fornication then it is a loss. The offspring from fornication have no father and no lineage, and we seek refuge with Allah. Lost… This is from the disadvantages of fornication.

He (Allah) didn’t say don’t fornicate, he said don’t come close to it, ‘don’t come near to it’, i.e. stay away from the means that lead to fornication. Such as: looking, the seclusion with a man, the traveling of the woman by herself, her showing off her beauty. These are means that lead to falling into fornication. Allah has not allowed them, he has prohibited them.

If there is leniency in these means then fornication will take place. If there is leniency in these means then fornication will take place, because the desires are present. Desires are present between men and women. If they sat together and mixed then fornication is close. Shaytaan is present, if a man secluded himself with a woman, then shaytaan is the third one amongst them.

They say you have bad thoughts and that you are pessimists. We are not pessimists, this is the reality. This is the reality and if these means that Allah has prohibited are violated, then fornication will occur, no doubt.

Even the righteous man, the religious one, there is a danger upon him from the woman. Especially if she was beautiful and he secluded himself with her or traveled with her or she joined him at work. Or if she sat with him in the classroom, or in an exam, or in meetings. Or if she sat with him on the television, or on the radio, as his colleague, i.e. a presenter next to him, and she is beautified and he is a youth. Far is Allah from all imperfections. Do you bring petrol next to fire? Petrol is by itself and the fire is by itself. You bring her next to him! This is like that; no it is worse than petrol and fire.

Desires… we seek refuge with Allah, desires are strong. So for this reason Allah (the Exalted, Most High), has placed barriers that prevent falling in to fornication. If they are preserved, fornication is lessened or cut-off. If they are lost, then fornication will occur without a doubt. No matter what, even if they are religious or modest, the children of Adam are not saved from fornication except by the means that prevent it.

Taken from the last class on the explanation of the book, Mukhtasar Zaadul Ma’aad.
Shaikh Salih al-Fawzan (حفظه الله تعالى).
Sunday, 15th Rabee’ Al-Awwal 1434.
Translated by Abu ‘Abdullah Naasir Hussain [Hafidhahullah].

Wife hates that her husband practices polygyny, is she now a Kafirah? – Shaykh Salih Fawzan

Scholar: ´Allâmah Sâlih bin Fawzân al-Fawzân
Source: alfawzan.ws/node/7394, Reference: Darulhadith.com
aFatwa.com

Question:

The wife hates that her husband should marry with another woman even though she knows that Allâh has prescribed it and allowed it. Is she now considered to hate something Allâh has prescribed?

Shaykh al-Fawzân:

This question has been posed several times. It is a natural hate, not a religious such. She is not hating that which Allâh has revealed. She is a believer and a Muslim. This is part of the female jealousy. This is the jealousy among the women. It is only part of the natural hate. It is not a hate towards that which Allâh has prescribed. It is only a hate towards the co-wife.

The Ruling in Divulging Marital Secrets – Shaykh Uthaymeen

Question:

Some women are overcome by the urge to communicate what is said in the house and their marital life to their relatives and friends. Some of what is said is secret, and the husband does not want anyone else to know it. What is the ruling on women who divulge these secrets and communicate them to those outside the house, or to some members of the household?

Answer:

The practice, as some women do, of communicating what is said in the house, and communicating details about their marital life to relatives and friends, is a forbidden thing. It is not permissible for a woman to divulge the secrets of her house or her affairs with her husband to any person. Allaah, The Most High says:

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property)” An-Nisa’ 4:34

– and the prophet Sallalaahu alaihi wa sallam informed us that the worst of people in rank before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who has sexual intercourse with his wife and she with him, then he communicates her secrets.

Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
Fataawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 366/367

‘And Live With Them in Kindness’

‘And Live With Them in Kindness’

Compiled and Translated By Abbas Abu Yahya

1 -Allaah Ta’ala said:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً

<< And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility[1] in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy[2]. >> [Room: 21]

2 -Allaah Ta’ala said:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

<< and live with them in kindness[3]>>[4] [Nisa: 19]

3 – From Abu Hurairah Radi Allaahu anhuthat Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

 دينار أنفقته في سبيل الله ، ودينار تصدقت به في رقبة ، ودينار تصدقت به على مسكين ، ودينار أنفقته على أهلك . أعظمها أجرا الذي أنفقته على أهلك

‘From the Dinar (money) that you spent in the path of Allaah, the Dinar that you spent in freeing a slave, the Dinar that you gave in charity to a needy person, and the Dinar you spent on your family, the one that is the greatest in reward is the one that you spent on your family.’[5]

4 – From Abu Hurairah Radi Allaahu anhuthat Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

إن أكمل المؤمنين إيماناً أحسنهم خُلقاً، وخياركم خياركم لنسائكم

‘The most complete of the Believers in their Eemaan are those who have the best manners[6], and the best of you[7] are those who are best to their women.’[8]

5 – From ‘Amr bin al-Ahwaas from the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam who said:

أَلاَ إِنَّ لَكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ حَقًّا وَلِنِسَائِكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقًّا

‘Indeed you have rights upon your women and they have rights upon you.’[9]

6 – From Abu Hurairah Radi Allaahu anhuwho said that the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

‫لا يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً إِنْ كَرِهَ مِنْهَا خُلُقًا رَضِيَ مِنْهَا آخَرَ

 ‘A believing man should not hate a believing woman, if he dislikes a mannerism of hers, he will be pleased with another mannerism.’[10]

7 – From Abdullaah bin Zamah Radi Allaahu anhu that the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:

يعمد أحدكم فيجلد امرأته جلد العبد فلعله يضاجعها من أخر يومه

‘None of you should lash your wife[11] like the lashing of a slave, and then perhaps at night he has intercourse with her.’[12]

8 – From Sa’ad bin Abi Waqqas Radi Allaahu anhu that the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:

إِنَّكَ لَنْ تُنْفِقَ نَفَقَةً تَبْتَغِي بِهَا وَجْهَ اللَّهِ إِلا أُجِرْتَ عَلَيْهَا ، حَتَّى فِي اللُّقْمَةِ تَرْفَعُهَا إِلَى فِي امْرَأَتِكَ

‘Indeed you do not spend some wealth desiring the Face of Allaah except that you are rewarded for it, even for the food you place in your wife’s mouth.’[13]

9 –  ‘Aeysha Radi Allaahu anha said:

ما ضرب صلى الله عليه وسلم بيده خادما قط و لا امرأة

‘The Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam never ever hit[14] a servant, or a woman.’[15]

10 – Ibn Abbas Radi Allaahu anhu said:

‘Indeed I love to beautify myself for my wife just like I love that she beautifies herself for me.’[16]

11 – From Abdullaah bin ‘Amr Radi Allaahu anhu the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

كفى بالمرء إثماً أن يضيع من يقوت

‘It is sufficient as a sin upon a man that he does not take responsibility over those he is responsible for.’[17]

12- From Ibn Umar Radi Allaahu anhu the Messenger of Allaah said:

إن أعظم الذنوب عند الله رجل تزوج امرأة فلما قضى حاجته منها طلقها وذهب بمهرها ، ورجل استعمل رجلا فذهب بأجرته ، وآخر يقتل دابة عبثا

 ‘Indeed the greatest of sins to Allaah are that a man marries a woman and when he has satisfied his need from her, he divorces her and goes off with her dowry.  And that a man employs another man and goes off with his salary and that a person kills his riding animal frivolously.’[18]

13- From Mu’aweeyah bin Haydah Radi Allaahu anhu who said:

‘I asked the Messenger of Allaah what is the right that the wife has upon one of us?

The Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

أن تطعمها إذا طعمت وتكسوها إذا اكتسيت ولا تضرب الوجه ولا تقبح ولا تهجر إلا في البيت

‘That you feed her when you eat, and clothe her when you clothe yourself,[19] and do not hit her on her face and do not say may Allaah deface you,[20] and do not keep away from her except in the home[21].’[22]

In another wording from Bahz Hakeem from his father, with the wording: He said: ‘I had said: O Prophet of Allaah, regarding our wives, what should we do and what should we be cautioned from?’

The Messenger said:

حرثك ، إئت حرثك أنى شئت غير أن لا تضرب الوجه ، ولا تقبح ، ولا تهجر إلا في البيت ، وأطعم إذا طعمت ، واكس إذا اكتسيت ، كيف وقد أفضى بعضكم إلى بعض ، ( بما حل عليه)

‘She is your tilth, come to your tilth as you please, except that you do not strike her face, nor say may Allaah make you ugly, nor keep away from her except in the house, and feed her when you eat, and clothe her when you clothe yourself, and how can you not since you have gone in unto each other, except with what she has been made permissible for you.’[23]

13- From al-Miqdam bin Ma’dee Karib al-Kindi that the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam stood amongst the people and praised Allaah and exalted Him and said:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا، إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا، فَإِنَّهُنَّ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَخَالاتُكُمْ، إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ يَتَزَوَّجُ الْمَرْأَةَ وَمَا تُعَلِّقُ يَدَاهَا الْخَيْطَ، فَمَا يَرْغَبُ وَاحِدٌ مِنْهُمَا عَنْ صَاحِبِهِ حَتَّى يَمُوتَا هَرَمًا

‘Indeed Allaah advices[24] you in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, indeed Allaah advices you in the strongest possible terms to be good to women, advices you in the strongest possible terms with regards to women, indeed they are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal aunts (father’s sisters) and your maternal aunts (mother’s sisters).  Indeed a man from the people of the two books (Jews & Christians) marries a woman and does not hit her, each one of them continues to desire his companion until he dies in old age.’

Abu Salmah said I narrated this hadeeth to al-Ala bin Sufyaan al-Ghassanee who said:

‘Indeed it has reached me that from the evil hidden sins which Allaah has made Haraam, which are not clearly mentioned in the Qur’aan, are that a man marries a woman and when his companion becomes old and she has stayed with him for a long time, and has produced all that her womb can, then he divorces her without any reason to do so.’[25]

14 – Shaykh AbdurRahman bin Nasr as-Sa’adi (d. 1376 A.H.) said:

‘Allaah Ta’ala said regarding dealings:

<< And do not forget liberality between yourselves. >> [Baqarah: 227]

Which means, make a place for excellence and Ihsaan in your dealings.  Do not take all your rights, rather make things easy and do not make them difficult, and be pardoning in buying and selling, in settling a debt and times of need.  And whoever necessitates upon himself this goodness achieves a lot of good and great good. And Allaah Knows best.’[26]


[1] Shaykh Rabee’ ibn Haadee al-Madkhali said: ‘This Ayaah confirmed the blessing of living together in tranquillity since Allaah placed love and mercy between the husband and wife. Verily this blessing of living together in tranquillity cannot be achieved except if it is in an atmosphere which is surrounded and fragranced by love and mercy.’

[Taken from: ‘al-Haqooq wal-Waajibat . . . . p.19]

[2] Shaykh AbdurRahman bin Nasr as-Sa’adi (d. 1376 A.H.) said:

‘From those signs that indicate Allaah’s Mercy and His concern for His slaves, and His great Wisdom and His all-Encompassing knowledge is << that He created for you from yourselves mates >> whom are suited to you and you are suited for them, and they are similar to you and you are similar to them.

<<that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.>> with what results from marriage is a means that causes love and mercy, so a person receives enjoyment and pleasure from the wife and the benefit of the presence of offspring and educating them, and finds tranquility with them and generally you do not find amongst people the like of the love and mercy found between husband and wife.’

[‘Tayseer al-Kareem ar-Rahman fee Tafseer Kalam al-Mannan’ 6/p.97]

[3] Shaykh Muhammed bin Salih al-Uthaymeen (d.1421 A.H.) said:

‘Living with them: means companionship and dealings, so a person deals with her in a good way and likewise to have good companionship with her.’

[Sharh Riyadh as-Saliheen’ 3/114]

[4] al-Hafidh Emaad ad-Deen Isma’eel Ibn Katheer (d. 774 A.H.) -Rahimullaah-  said: ‘This means, speak to them in a good way and make your actions and your appearance  good as much as you can, just like you would love that from your partner, then you should deal with her as you would like to be dealt with, as Allaah Ta’ala said: << And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable,>> and the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said: ‘and the best of you are those who are best to their women.’ And from the Messenger’s mannerisms was that he would live with his wives in a beautiful way, always smiling, being playful with his family and being gentle with them, and spending on them and making his women laugh.’ [Taken from: ‘Tafseer al-Qur’aan al-Atheem’ 1/608]

[5] Collected by Muslim

[6] Shaykh Albaani said: ‘Good manners: sacrificing to do good deeds, preventing harm and having a cheerful face.’

[Riyadh as-Saliheen p. 159]

[7]  Shaykh Uthaymeen said: ‘Regarding the saying of the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam: ‘The best of you . . .’ This person is the best of the people, he is the best of them to his wife. So if you have any goodness, then make that goodness for the closest of the people to you, and make it so that your wife is the first to benefit from this good.

And this is the opposite of what some people do today, you find that he has bad manners with his wife, and has good behavior with other people, and this is a great mistake.

Your wife has the most right to good behavior, and having the best manners to them, because she is the one who is with you day and night, openly and secretly.  If you are afflicted with something she is afflicted along with you, and if your happy, she is happy along with you, if your sad, she is sad along with you, therefore you should make your dealings with her better than your dealings with strangers, so the best of the people are those who are best of them to their wives.

I ask Allaah to complete my Eemaan and that of the Muslims, and that he makes us the best of the slaves of Allaah to our wives and upon those who have a right upon us. [Taken from: ‘Explanation of Riyadh as-Saliheen’ 3/134]

[8] Albaani said in ‘Silsilah Saheehah’ no. 284, ‘it is from the hadeeth of Abu Hurairah Radi Allaahu anhucollected by Tirmidhi and Ahmad and the first part of the hadeeth is collected by Abu Dawood, Ibn Abee Shaybah in ‘al-Musannaf’, Abu Na’eem in ‘al-Hileeyah’ and Haakim and he said it is Saheeh upon the conditions of Muslim and Dhahabi agreed with him.’

[9] Collected by Tirmidhi, declared Hasan by Albaani No.1163

[10] Collected by Muslim

[11] Shaykh Uthaymeen said: ‘He lashes his wife like he lashes any other person as if there was no relationship between him and his wife, and as if she is a captive slave, helper to him.  This is not befitting because the relationship between a man and his wife is a special relationship, which must be built upon love, compassion, and keeping far away from evil, whether it is in speech or in action.

As for lashing her like lashing a slave, then at night to have intercourse with her, then how is it possible that you have intercourse with her at night with love, and then take pleasure and desire from her and you had lashed her like the lashing of a slave? !

This is a contradiction; this is why the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- rebuked this action. It is not befitting that this occurs from a human being, and the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- spoke the truth, indeed this does not befit an intelligent person more over a believer.’ [Taken from: ‘Sharh Riyadh as-Saliheen’ 3/119]

[12] Collected by Bukhari & Muslim

[13] Collected by Bukhari & Muslim

[14] Shaykh AbdulMuhsin al-Abbad al-Badr said about this hadeeth in his explanation of Sunnan Abi Dawood:

‘The compiler mentions the hadeeth of ‘Aeysha Radi Allaahu anha:

‘That the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam never ever hit a servant, or a woman.’

That was because of his noble manners, he was forgiving and he sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam would live with his wives in a good way. An incident of hitting a servant, from those servants who used to serve him, never occurred.  He sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam never hit any of his wives, rather he was gentle, merciful, forgiving and he sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam love and gentleness.  This indicates to his sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam perfect mannerisms, even though there perhaps may have occurred transgression and matters by which some servants warranted reprimanding, however the Prophet’s sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam character and his way was gentle, forgiving and pardoning in his matters.’

[15] Collected by Muslim

[16] Collected by al-Bayhaqi

[17] Collected by Ahmad, Nisa’ee, Hakim & Albaani declared it ‘Hasan Lighayrihi’ in ‘Saheeh Targheeb wa Tarheeb’ Vol.2 No.1965

[18] Collected by Hakim & al-Bayhaqi. Albaani said in ‘Silsilah Saheehah’ no. 999 and Saheeh al-Jamia’ 1567 [Hasan]

[19] Shaykh Uthaymeen said: regarding the saying of the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam-  ‘that you feed her when you eat, and clothe her when you clothe yourself,’ Which means, do not specify clothing yourself without taking a concern in clothing her, nor feeding yourself and not feeding her.  Rather she is your partner, it is obligatory to spend on her as you spend upon yourself, so much so that many of the scholars say: ‘If a man does not spend on his wife, and she requests a divorce from the judge, then it is upon the judge to cancel the marriage, due to the husband being deficient about her right which is obligatory for her.’ [Explanation of Riyad as-Saliheen 3/131]

[20] Shaykh Uthaymeen said: ‘Regarding the saying of the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam: ‘do not call her ugly. . .’ It means do not say you are ugly, or say: may Allaah disfigure your face.  What is included in this prohibition of calling her ugly is the prohibition of claiming she is ugly whether it is tangible or (in meaning) intangible. So do not say: ‘You are from a unnoble tribe, or from an evil family etc.’ all of this is from claiming she is ugly which Allaah has prohibited.’ [Explanation of Riyad as-Saliheen 3/132]

Hafidh al-Mundhari said: ‘It means do not say disliked things to her, and do not curse her.’ [‘Saheeh Targheeb wa Tarheeb’ 2/p.411]

[21] Shaykh Albaani said: ‘Except if it is necessary, due to it being established when the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam – made Hijrah (boycotted) from his wives due to a drink that he took outside the home’

[Riyad as-Saliheen p.159]

[22] Collected by Ahmad, Ibn Hibban al-Albaani ‘Saheeh Targheeb wa Tarheeb’ No.1929 & he declared it to be Saheeh.

[23] Collected by Ahmad, Abu Dawood & Albaani declared the Sanad to be Hasan in ‘Irwaa al-Ghaleel’ 7/p.98

[24] In the explanation of the word Waseeyah: ‘and I strongly advise you to be good to women’ which means: accept my advice regarding women, and act upon it, be patient with them, be gentle with them and be good to them.’

[Taken from: ‘al-Mufhim lima Ashkal min Talkhees Kitab Muslim’ by Umar bin Ibraheem al-Qurtoobi]

[25] Collected by Ibn ‘Aasakir in ‘Tareekh Dimishq’ from Yahya bin Jabir.

[26] ‘Bahtaja al-Qaloob al-Abraar wa Qarat Ayoon al-Akhbar’- No. 61 p.120

Iblees says : “You have done well” and embraces him – Saheeh Muslim

Iblis places his throne upon water

Jabir reported that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said:

Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension) ; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. And he says: You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife. The Satan goes near him and says: ‘You have done well. A’mash said: He then embraces him.

Source : Sahih Muslim 2813 b  (Book 52, Hadith 60), Dar-us-salm English Translation

Sahih Muslim : Book 39: The Book Giving Description of the Day of Judgement, Paradise and Hell (Kitab Sifat Al-Qiyamah wa’l Janna wa’n-Nar)

Related Linkhttps://abdurrahman.org/jinn-shayateen-devils/

Someone entering Islam while being married to Mahrams or women who are forbidden to marry at the same time – Permanent Committee

Q 1: Here in Sri Lanka some Kafirs (disbelievers) have accepted Islam, especially Buddhists, but they stay married according to their former religions. One might be married to his niece and they have children. In such a case, we cannot separate them. What should we do?

A: If both spouses accept Islam together, and they are married in a way that is impermissible in Islam, they must be separated at once, such as a couple who accepts Islam while the wife is her husband’s niece.

In such a case, they must be forced to leave each other, as it is impermissible for a Muslim to marry his niece.

This is according to Allah’s saying (Exalted be He), Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers until His saying, your sister’s daughters and similar cases. A man who accepts Islam while he is married to two sisters is asked to divorce one of them. This is according to what was narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhy and Al-Nasa’y, on the authority of Al-Dahhak ibn Fayruz, from his father that he said, When I embraced Islam, I was married to two sisters. The Prophet (peace be upon him) ordered me to divorce one of them. The wording of Al-Tirmidhy is choose either one of them that you wish. May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and Companions!

Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta’

Member     Member     Deputy Chairman     Chairman
`Abdullah ibn Qa`ud     `Abdullah ibn Ghudayyan     `Abdul-Razzaq `Afify     `Abdul-`Aziz ibn `Abdullah ibn Baz

Source: alifta.com

Christian wife embraced islam after marriage and then apostated – Permanent Committee

Q: A Muslim married a woman from the People of the Book, then she embraced Islam, but then reverted to her previous religion.

A:

She is unlawful to him, as she is now a Murtad (apostate).

Reference: Fatwas of Permanent Committee – Group 1 – Fatwa :754 Part :20 Page :14 – 15

Source: alifta.com

Wisdom behind Prophet Muhammad’s marriages

Source: General Presidency of Scholarly Research and Ifta (alifta.net)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married to several wives following his migration to Madinah. His practice of polygyny was not something novel, as polygyny was widely practiced by all people and nations. Some societies allowed unlimited number of wives until some men had more than seven hundred wives, not including slave women. Some Arabs were reported to have taken in marriage more than ten wives. When Ghilan ibn Salamah Al-Thaqafy embraced Islam, he was married to ten wives. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed him, saying: Choose four of them (and divorce the rest).

Polygamy was also practiced by the ancient Greeks in Athens, China, Babylonia, Assyria, ancient Egypt, and the Jews were also polygamous. Prophet Sulayman (Solomon, peace be upon him) had seven hundred free women as wives and three hundred slave women. Al-Bukhari related in his Sahih (authentic) Book of Hadith: Sulayman (the son of) Dawud (David) said, ‘Tonight I will go to a hundred women, each of whom will give birth to a boy who will fight in the Cause of Allah.’ The Angel said to him, ‘Say: In sha’a-Allah (If it be the Will of Allah).’ But he did not say so, as he forgot. He went to them but none of them gave birth, apart from one woman who gave birth to half a child. The Prophet (peace be upon him) further said, ‘Had he said: In sha’a-Allah, he would not have broken his oath and he would have had more hope of fulfilling his wish.’ The Christian church also permitted polygyny and did not object to it.

The Prophet’s marriage to nine wives at the same time was merely an implementation of Divine Instructions and Wisdom. Allah (may He be Exalted) states:
So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in the future) there may be no difficulty for believers in respect to (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allâh’s Command must be fulfilled. There is no blame on the Prophet (peace be upon him) in that which Allâh has made legal for him. That has been Allâh’s Way with those who have passed away of (the Prophets of) old.

Stating the fact that it is Allah Who made it lawful for His Messenger to marry several wives, He revealed:
O Prophet (Muhammad peace be upon him)! Verily, We have made lawful to you your wives, to whom you have paid their Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), and those (slaves) whom your right hand possesses – whom Allâh has given to you Allah then limited the number of the Messenger’s wives to nine, all of whom he was forbidden to divorce. Allah (may He be Glorified and Exalted) states:

It is not lawful for you (to marry other) women after this, nor to change them for other wives even though their beauty attracts you

Therefore, the marriages of the Prophet (peace be upon him) were all necessitated by Divine Command. It is not permissible to compare other cases with that of the Prophet (peace be upon him). This matter was restricted to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) alone. None among the Muslim Ummah (nation) is permitted to marry beyond four women under the pretext that the Prophet (peace be upon him) married nine women.

Those who criticize the Prophet of Islam and brand Muslims as lustful are in manifest error. Worse still, we find Muslims who level blasphemous charges at the Prophet (peace be upon him) and take the subject of his marriages in jest. Had true faith entered their hearts, they would not have allowed such thoughts to occupy their minds. Had they carefully examined the circumstances that surrounded each marriage, they would have thought otherwise. The Prophet (peace be upon him) contracted marriages either to protect and support a widowed woman, or bring comfort to the families whose hearts were broken by the death of their beloved father, or to cement the bonds of love with the clan of his wives, or to honor a free woman who fulfilled Allah’s Command and went against the traditions of her society by marrying a slave rather than a master seeking the Good Pleasure of Allah.

Had the Prophet (peace be upon him) been lustful, he would have opted to marry when he was in his prime youth, a period when desire for sexual gratification is at its peak. However, he married several wives only after he had grown into old age, when his desire for women had weakened. At the young age of twenty-five, he was married to only one wife, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (may Allah be pleased with her), who was fifteen years older than him. She was forty while he was only twenty-five. He remained with her until she died.

It should also be noted that all the women whom he (peace be upon him) married had been married previously, except ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her). The wives of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) were:

1- Sawdah bint Zam‘ah ibn Qays Al-Qurashiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) got married to her following the death of her husband, Al-Sakran ibn ‘Amr ibn ‘Abd Shams. This took place after the death of his wife, Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, in Makkah and before his migration to Madinah. When
she grew old, she gave up her day and night to ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her).

2- ‘Aishah bint Al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with her): The Prophet (peace be upon him) contracted marriage with her before Sawdah. However, he did not consummate marriage with her until after its consummation with Sawdah. Among all his wives ‘Aishah was the only virgin whom the Prophet (peace be upon him) married. His marriage to ‘Aishah was meant to strengthen the bonds of kinship with Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq, the first man to embrace Islam and to support and believe in every word the Prophet (peace be upon him) uttered. He also sacrificed all his wealth for the sake of Allah.

3- Hafsah bint ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) took her in marriage although she was a previously married woman who lacked feminine charm. The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her because of the close relationship he had with her father.

4- Umm Salamah Hind bint Suhail Al-Makhzumiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her): The Prophet (peace be upon him) married her following the death of her husband, Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abd Al-Asad. His intention was to support her children. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) proposed to marry her, she said: “A woman like me is not suitable for marriage. I have become a barren woman, and I am jealous and have children.” The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) replied: I am older than you; as for jealousy, Allah will remove it, and as for children Allah and His Messenger are responsible for them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) then married her.

5- Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her after she was divorced by her husband Zayd ibn Harithah, the freed slave (and adopted son) of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). The Prophet (peace be upon him) was rewarding her compliance with Allah’s Command. It was through this marriage that Allah established the permissibility of marrying the wife of one’s adopted son, a matter which was difficult for the community at that time to undertake. Allah (may He be Exalted) states:
So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage, so that (in the future) there may be no difficulty for the believers in respect to (the marriage of) the wives of their adopted sons when the latter have no desire to keep them (i.e. they have divorced them). And Allâh’s Command must be fulfilled.

6- Umm Habibah bint Abu Sufyan (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her after her husband, ‘Ubaydullah ibn Jahsh, apostatized from Islam. She stayed away from him until he died.
She was in her thirties when the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her. He contracted the marriage while she was in Abyssinia (Ethiopia). The Prophet (peace be upon him) authorized Al-Najashy to conclude the marriage contract. Her authorizer was Khalid ibn Sa‘id ibn Al-‘As. Al-Najashy gave her four hundred Dinars as Sadaq (mandatory gift to a bride from the groom). This took place in the seventh year of Hijrah (the Prophet’s migration to Madinah).

7- Juwayriyyah bint Al-Harith (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her after her husband Musani‘ ibn Safwan was killed on the Battle of Al-Muraysi‘. The Prophet (peace be upon him) intended to honor her people by this marriage relationship with them, especially after they had been taken as war captives in the Battle of Banu Al-Mustaliq.

8- Safiyyah bint Huyay ibn Akhtab (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her to bring solace to her broken heart following the murder of her father, paternal uncle and husband.

9- Maymunah bint Al-Harith Al-Hilaliyyah (may Allah be pleased with her): The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) married her following the death of her husband, Abu Rahm ibn ‘Abd Al-‘Uzza Al-‘Amiry. This marriage took place in the seventh year of Hijrah. She (may Allah be pleased with her) was approaching forty by that time.

Source: alifta.net

Wives Preventing Polygyny (having more than one wife at one time) – Shaykh al-Albaani

Source: silsilat ul-hudaa wa nnoor – the series of guidance and light – tape no. 787

Polygyny : The condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time.

source: silsilat ul-hudaa wa nnoor, tape no. 787/3
asaheeha translations

Question: “Is it allowed for a woman to come between her husband and polygyny?”

Shaikh al-Albaani (rahimahullaah):

“Of course, I believe that this is not allowed for her because of two reasons: 1) she is hindering (her husband) from the (lawful) path of Allaah, and 2) she is opposing the command of her husband. Because you know that the obedience of a woman to her husband is obligatory as is the case with the obedience of a member of a nation to the Muslim ruler – I don’t say blind obedience, but rather complete obedience – except that which the Legislation has made an exception, i.e. except if it is in disobedience to Allaah. And based on this there are Legislated rulings: that if the Muslim ruler commands something that is fundamentally allowed, this command becomes obligatory upon the one who is commanded with it to carry out, because it is the command of the Walee ul-Amr (Muslim ruler). Exactly likewise is the affair with respect to the wife with her husband.

So if a husband commands his wife to do something which is fundamentally allowed in the Legislation and which the woman is able to carry out, then it is obligatory upon her to obey him. And if she does not obey him, she has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger (sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Therefore when a woman sets up obstacles that may come between her husband and the thing he wants to attain which Allaah (‘azza wa jal) has allowed, let alone if the allowed matter is something desired and legislated, then no doubt she will be disobedient two times: 1) as I mentioned previously, she is hindering (her husband) from the (lawful) path, and 2) she is opposing her husband in something that is not for her to oppose because she is able (to carry it out) and he is not wanting to do an act of disobedience to Allaah.”

PS : Webster’s New World Dictionary defines Polygamy as “the practice of having two or more wives or husbands at the same time.”  Since Muslim women are not allowed to have two or more husbands at the same time, let’s find a better word:  Polygyny.  The same dictionary defines polygyny as “a practice of having two or more wives at the same time.” Polyandry (Greek: poly- many, andros- man) refers to a form of marriage in which a woman has two or more husbands at the same time

The best thing after Iman and the worst thing after Kufr [women] – Sayings of the Salaf

It is reported that ‘Umar b. Al-Khattâb – Allâh be pleased with him – once addressed the people and said:

No man can have anything better after faith (îmân) than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing. And no man can have anything worse after unbelief (kufr) than a sharp-tongued woman of bad character.

Al-Hâfidh Abul-Qâsim Al-Asbahânî, Al-Targhîb wa Al-Tarhîb article 1528. Also recorded in other sources with a slight variation in wording.

Posted from http://www.sayingsofthesalaf.net/the-best-thing-after-iman-and-the-worst-thing-after-kufr-women/

How to deal with the Teenage Phase ? – Permanent Committee

Q: How did the Prophet (peace be upon him) deal with the teenage phase of Muslim youth, in order to help them go through this stage?

A: The Prophet (peace be upon him) paid great attention to Muslim youth, and gave them and their parents special guidance and directives.

He gave the parents these instructions:

Command your children to pray when they become seven years old, and beat them for (neglecting) it when they become ten years old; and arrange their beds (to sleep) separately. Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawud.

He (peace be upon him) addressed the youth by saying: ‘O young people! Whoever among you is able to marry, should marry, for marriage helps him lower his gaze and keep his virtuousness, and whoever is not able to marry, is recommended to observe Sawm (fast), for Sawm diminishes his sexual desire. (Agreed upon by Imams Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

Permanent Committee for Scholarly Research and Ifta’
Fatwas of the Permanent Committee>Group 1>Volume 26: Miscellaneous Fatwas 3>Avoiding the means of temptation>Adolescence

Mahr (Dowry) should be a small amount and that people should not compete – Imaam Ibn Baaz

[Q]: I and many others have observed that many people are very excessive when it comes to the matter of the mahr (wedding dowry that is paid to the bride), and that they seek great amounts of mahr when it comes to the marriage of their daughters, and they stipulate as a condition the giving of other gifts to them, along with the mahr. This wealth that people demand in such cases, is it halaal (lawful) or haraam (unlawful)?

[A]: What is prescribed in the Sharee’ah is that the mahr should be a small amount and that people should not compete with each other in this regard, acting in accordance with the many ahaadeeth which are related about this. They should also help facilitate marriages and be keen in preserving the modesty and decency of the young Muslim men and women. And it is not permissible for the awliyaa (guardians of the brides-to-be) to demand and stipulate gifts for themselves, since they have no right at all in this matter. Rather the right belongs to the woman, and in some particular cases to the father. He may stipulate a condition as long as it does not harm the daughter, nor lead to the delaying of the marriage. However, if the father forgoes such a right then this is better and more preferable. Allaah – the One free from all defects – says: “And marry those amongst you who are single and also marry the pious of your male and female slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.” [Soorah an-Noor 24:32].

In the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir radiallaahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “The best dowry is that which is easy.” This was narrated by Abu Daawood and al-Haakim who authenticated it. And once a woman offered herself to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam for marriage. However, one of his Companions desired to marry her, so the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said [regarding the mahr]: “Bring something, even if it be an iron ring.” So when he could not find even this, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam married them for the dowry that the man would teach whatever of the Qur’aan he knew to her. 2

And the dowry of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam’s wives was five-hundred dirhams, which is equivalent to one-hundred and thirty riyaals today. And his daughters were married for the mahr of four-hundred dinaars, which is equivalent to one-hundred riyaals today. Allaah – the Most High – said: “Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a most beautiful example to follow.” [Soorah al-Ahzaab 33:21].

So whenever the difficulties relating to marriage are lightened, then preserving the modesty and decency of young men and women becomes easier, shameful and evil deeds decrease, and the Ummah – as a result – will increase in number. However if this matter is made difficult, and people continue competing with each other with regards to the mahr (dowry), then the number of marriages will decrease, fornication will become more widespread and more young men and women will remain unmarried – except those whom Allaah saves.

So my sincere advice to all the Muslims, wherever they may be, is to facilitate the marriage process and to cooperate in this and make it easy. They should turn away from demanding excessive mahr and avoid unnecessary hardships and difficulties in the waleemah (wedding-feast). Rather, they should content themselves with a waleemah that is according to the Sharee’ah, in which the burdens and difficulties for the husband and wife are minimal. May Allaah improve and rectify all the affairs of the Muslims and may He give them the guidance and ability to cling to the Sunnah (Prophetic guidance) in all matters. 3

2. Related by Abu Daawood in his Sunan.
3. Al-Fataawa (1/168-169).

Source : Concerning Everyday Issues published Al-Istiqaamah

Why husband have High Status that He does? – Shaykh Muhammad Amaan Jaamee

Taken from the Book: The Structure of the Muslim Family by the shaykh al’Allaamah Muhammad Amaan ibn Ali al-Jaami died: 1416H

[004:034] Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.

This verse, as you can see, clearly gives the responsibility of leading and governing the family to the man. Additionally, the verse never failed to clarify the reason for this; rather, it explained why.

Allah said, “because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.” [1]

[1][TN}: Al-Qurtubi said in his tafseer [5/161] :

“Some of the people of knowledge have understood from the saying of Allah, the Most High, “because they spend (to support them) from their means.” That whenever the husband is incapable of supporting his wife then he is not considered to be maintaining her. If he is not maintaining her, then she can seek that the marriage contract be annulled because one of the intents behind the legislation of marriage has been lost.”

2. That both of them performed and fulfill the rights and obligations that Allah has made compulsory upon them as it pertains to the other partner. The wife should not demand to receive exactly the same rights that belong to the husband, and the husband should not use the authority or leadership that Allah has graced him with as an opportunity to oppress her and beat her unjustly. [ page # 49-50]

3. It is essential that the woman obey her husband as much as she can when he commands her. As this is a station that Allah has granted to the men as mentioned in the two previous verses: “Man are the protectors and maintainer of women” [An-Nisaa: 34] and “But men have a degree of responsibility over them” [Al-Baqarah: 228]  [page # 5]

Shaykh Muhammad Amaan al-Jaami rahimahullaah advises in “The Structure of The Muslim Family” (translated by brother Hasan As-Somali hafithahullaah) pg 31.

“It is upon the intelligent Muslim woman to study her religion to allow her to truly grasp the position of Islam towards the woman and the dignified position Islam has given her. Additionally, she should not pay attention to every imbecile that makes unfounded claims.

At the same time, she should examine some of the foreign constitutions, like the French constitution, to truly understand the position that these constitutions have towards the women.”

Taken from the Book: The Structure of the Muslim Family by the shaykh al’Allaamah Muhammad Amaan ibn Ali al-Jaami died: 1416H.